The sleep struggle.

image The sleep struggle. We have all been there I don't care what you say I don't believe any one has by pass the sleep struggle. All you baby mamas and daddy's have had atleast one night where you have wanted to just put the baby outside and just go back to sleep.

I think when Rocky was a baby I was very naive, I look back now and think how confident I was and laugh because I had it so so wrong but also very right. Rocky was an amazing sleeper we slept trained him at three weeks old in one swift movement we slept trained him, put him into a routine and stoped demand feeding and the little sausage was only three weeks old. I totally understand some of you will be reading this going woah mama that is not ok how could you do that blah blah blah well we did so suck it up ladies and move on, it was one of the best things we have ever done in regards to parenting Rocky and it worked wonders for us. I have never shoved my opinion on any one and I'm not going to start now hence why I say it worked for us, I know it's not for everyone because some people don't agree with it and some people emotionally can't handle their baby crying especially at that age call me a hard ass bitch haha.

It's something I probably couldn't have done without Jared and its definatly something we both couldn't have done with my amazing mum. She was a Karatane nurse and if you know one you know they are old school, on numerous occasions during our sleep ups and downs Jared would say ok bekah what would your mum do right now, that line came up basically every time we thought we were failing as parents and we soon figured it out. I hated demand feeding but that's another blog post in its self and stopping demand feeding helped us on our sleepy journey, routine was the other big player which will also get its own blog post one day.

My mum stayed for 3 weeks when Rocky was born it was seriously the best but it was the day after she left I rang her probably in tears saying help us what do we do I need a baby who sleeps!! She told me she knew all the things we could change but wasn't going to tell us when she was staying because we weren't ready and that's why we love her not once in those three weeks did she tell us we were doing it wrong or criticise or correct us she cooked cleaned and looked after Rocky whilst we slept she was the ultimate support or as Jared calls her Wonder Woman.

So sleep training started I read the book baby wise and we followed that theory as far as routine went. Eat, awake/play, sleep and repeat we had to teach our tiny baby to self settle and he picked it up like a champ well it took like three nights and it was hell but it was so so worth it. By doing this I stopped demand feeding he was fed three hourly and the sleep quickly became longer. So he slept ate played (lay on the ground staring at random corners or just into space the kid was three weeks old remember, ain't much playing happening). Now don't get me wrong if it was a shit day I fed that little sucker to sleep and fed him every time he made a noise because I'm a huge believer in doing what you gotta do to get through those days, but then we started again the next day.

So basically we let him cry for 15 minute intervals then we would go in pick him up comfort him and repeat this was the worst on that first night and that's where Jared came in if I was upset he would go and vis versa the team work was so important and the support was even more so. For us the key was going off his cry as a gauge he had different cries to help determine his needs, the I'm totally ok grizzling to sleep cry and the I'm not ok I need help to get to sleep cry by working those out we were all happy. By night Four he was sleeping like an angel a newborn angel remember I'm not talking eight hour stretches or anything lets keep it real but he was having substantial naps and only woke once in the night for a feed. I don't even think it was the lack of sleep that was killing me but the lack of routine.

So here I was with the lovely little babe who slept beautifully and was a bit of an all right kid. I would tell anyone who would listen how babies are capable of sleeping if you give them the right tools blah blah blah I knew there were exceptions with colic and reflux and other new babe issues but I truely believed the majority of babies had the ability to sleep well. I do still believe this but I understand more now that different parenting styles means people have different definitions of a baby sleeping well and who am I to say they are doing it right or wrong this is what worked for us and what I swear by if you co sleep and demand feed then good on you its not for me and that's ok just like letting your baby cry to sleep is not for you. We all parent differently but if your child is happy and healthy then you are doing a good job and your doing what's right for your family so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Theres like this stigma attached to having a good sleeper just like there is attached to having a bad sleeper, I would play down Rockys sleeping habits on some occasions because I knew a mother was having a shit time with her baby sleeping and on more than one occasion I was made to feel bad about having a "good" sleeper. People would say oh your just lucky but I'm sorry no we weren't we put in a lot of effort to get Rocky to sleep well he didn't sleep well we taught him. And I'm sure mothers would play down their child's shit sleeping habits to feel more "normal" or to fit in with their ultra competitive coffee group or whatever. It's a sad reality that we can't all just support each other no matter what our children are doing or no matter how we parent but we live in this strange mean at times world.

Any way it was all fun and games until we hit the 8 month mark then the devil child emerged and sleep was not so happy happy joy joy but I've totally ranted in this post so I'll follow up tomorrow with the pre toddler sleep issues with our yo yo sleeper it's basically a sleeper who yo yo's with their sleep patterns like a dieter yo yo's with their diet. xxx