When grieving can be a beautiful thing.

Ive mentioned before how amazing Rocky's dad is and this week my heart has swelled with love and pride more than it ever has before, for both of my boys. Rockys great grandad passed away on Monday night, we arrived in Auckland from Palmy on Monday evening not long after he left us. It was so unfortunate that we didn't make it in time but these things can be so unpredictable you can't really go on about what if's.

Jared is the oldest of 7 grandchildren and spent a lot of time around his fulla (Jared grew up calling him Fulla) growing up as he lived with his mum in a flat at his grandparents as a child. His memories are full of grandad spoiling him with food - tinned corned beef, sneaking him hubba bubba and always filling him up on taro, chop suey and raw fish (food and music were the old mans things). I know Jared appreciates the fact he was able to have such a close relationship with Fulla.

We made it to Auckland in record time on Monday only stopping once for Rocky to get out and stretch his legs, it's normally a 7-8 hour drive with all of the stops we need due to a humbug toddler but this time our Rocky was so happy and complacent just sitting taking in the scenery we made in just under 6, my mum was saying how children pick up on things like death and can adapt their usual behaviours if needed. I honestly think Rocky knew that we needed to get there and acted the way he did on this trip to make sure his daddy got to grandads bedside sooner rather than later, because of our quick trip Jared got the most precious time to sit with his fulla after he had passed and say his good byes if we had done the trip in normal time we wouldn't have been able to see him at the hospital like we did.

I have always known Jared would be an amazing dad and he has shown me that every day since Rocky was born. But seeing Jared grieve for his grandad made my heart swell with pride even more, I could not ask for a better role model for my son. He let Rocky know that it's ok to grieve and it's ok to cry not many men will do that but the way Jared held his fulla's hand as he wept saying his goodbye's in that moment I knew Rocky will always be supported by Jared no matter what the situation and he will know that as a man it's ok to express your feeling and cry if you need too. I could not have loved him more than I did at that moment.

Rocky was a star on the trip up and at the hospital he continued to make every single person in that room laugh and be happy when it was such a sad thing. He danced and kissed and played by his great grandads bed putting smiles on everyone's face he roamed the corridors of the ward cheering up other patients and charming nurses, keep in mind this is like 9.00pm and he was shattered from the trip, once again I'm sure he sensed the situation and took it upon his beautiful young self to act as a light in a dark time.

This has been such a beautiful experience even though the circumstances are unfortunate, the bringing together of family is irreplaceable Rocky and Jared are meeting blood relatives they may not get the chance to see again or may have gone their whole lives without ever meeting and they are learning so much about their grandads culture which is so healing and beautiful. I feel so blessed to be able to immerse Rocky in such a rich culture he may not have had the opportunity to learn about until much later in his life.

So old fulla thank you for giving us these experiences and allowing your whanau to get to know each other all over again or in some cases meet for the first time. You are not in pain anymore and now you can rest without suffering, we love you xxx