There are lots of things I'm grateful for this pregnancy here's one I didn't know I needed to be grateful for piles. I don't have them by the way I didn't even know what they were but mum said to me when I was having a whinge the other day "your just lucky you don't have piles", now I was all wait what are piles!! She replied "oh your bum basically starts falling out your bum hole" 😱 again wait what why would I get that I didn't with Rocky? Apparently it's common second time around but no whanau I don't have piles not yet any way I'll keep you updated on this riveting story as it unfolds. Ok so that was kind of irrelevant but some interesting info any way. Some one may be wondering what's going on down there and that was pretty much your own private episode of embarrassing bodies ft Doctor Rebecca. Your welcome.
A friend said today there's an emotional change at like 30 weeks that normally coincides with peeing your self when you sneeze, my hormones have hit a new level and at 30+3 I'm not sure if I will spend the next 9 weeks crying or sleeping either way it probably won't be pretty. The last few days haven't been pretty I've basically cried at the drop of a hat, I've realised all these things I can't unrealise and just thinking makes me cry like a bloody baby.
I've realised Rocky and I move to Christchurch in two and a half weeks with out Jared, this is weird I mean it's not like I didn't know this was happening we have been planning and organising the last 6 months but it's so close now and it's terrifying me! He's been off work for 6 weeks and it's been amazing I love having him around but the combination of him going back to work this week and him not coming with us is turning me into a blubbering mess. It's strange because we are so used to him being away we have dealt with so much worse over the last 5 years in the army but I wasn't so knocked up then! I'm a positive person who normally keeps his negative attitude in check but now it's the other way around and the poor boy doesn't know what to do. Last night he suggested I could ignore the bad hormones and just focus on the positive things like I did in Rockys pregnancy you know babe the good hormones he said, great suggestion mate I know your trying but you deal with pregnancy hormones then learn how to supress the shit ones then come back to me and let me know the secret! I get what he's saying though he told me I should be focusing on how amazing my body is, how pregnancy is such a beautiful thing, how much I enjoy it and enjoy the whole birthing experience and not to focus on the things I can't change. Seriously Jared your like a perfect boyfriend robot!
The other thing creeping into my mind is the fact he might not make it to the birth. Now Rockys labour was a shit show it went on forever so I feel like we have heaps of time for him to get there and I mean it's not like I'll be alone (thanks mum) but still he's my strength and it scared me thinking I wouldn't have his support. Again he pointed out girllllll you are a birthing goddess you could birth in a forest on your own and still kill it but you don't have too cause you have your family plus I'll make it in time. (Again this is why I keep him around)
Ok so back to the hormone shift and peeing I haven't sneezed lately but the other night I said to Jared OMG either my waters broke, I peed myself or that's some serious discharge!! Waters still intact so it was one of the other options I didn't investigate the situation too much.