I forgot how much it's all down hill from here on out. 35 weeks I'm all heyyyy I'm such a babe so pregnant and oh yeah let's stay pregnant for ever this is fun blah blah blah then I hit 35+3, yep it's only 3 days since that loving life 35 week post. And then I realised thanks to my loving partner and friends that it's not all rosey and peaches so here we go the ugly side of being almost 36 weeks pregnant.
I started Aqua yoga with some other mums to be last week and I was feeling really great about myself remember I thought I was a total whale of a babe, then I went last night and asked my sister to take some photos of me but what I got was the most hideous photo you could ever imagine boy oh boy what a bloody reality check haha I still blame the light she was lying on the couch and I was standing right under the light in the lounge but something happened it must have been like an optical illusion or something because all of a sudden I looked like swollen Sally and her cousin cellulite Samantha had come to visit but I didn't invite them!!? Obviously I shut that party down ASAP and ordered my sister of the couch to a room with better lighting where she was standing at an appropriate angle to get a winning shot, see ya suckers you will not rain on my I'm so good at being knocked up parade. (Yep this is obviously the picture I will post to Instagram).
Any way that was that "real life" reality check but it got me thinking Bekah girl don't give these baby mamas false hope not everyone is as ok with being pregnant as you like seriously your a bloody heffalump crossed with Sasquatch that had a disaster boob job. The thing is I just love to embrace it because this is probably the last time I get to be pregnant and I'm going to make the most of it instead of dwell on it. But any way back to the reality check the fluid issues I had with Rocky are rearing there stupid liquidy heads my arms have doubled in size, totally normal I know but whyyyyyy I thought I'd gotten away with it this time!! However I have done way better in the chubby chops department and the face is looking slim as thank shit! With Rocky at 36 weeks I resembled a chipmunk or someone post wisdom teeth removal, the other night I said to mum er my god I'm sooooo skinny in the face it must be a girl and she's all oh no mama I won't make you fat in the face like that bratty brother of mine (we are so in tune all ready) mum informed me it probably doesn't work like that but I was all whatever hater.
Then there's the whole I'm so fat I can't even see if my lady hair is sticking out of my tog bottems when I go swimming it's a real dilemma like what if the kids doing squad training before my Aqua yoga class are scared for life, I do know a wax could eliminate this issue but seriously who's got time for that! And who's game enough to wax the hormonal pregnant woman? Yep I thought so. Now I will get some "grooming" done pre womb eviction but for now I have to rely on eye contact and body language when conversating with others whilst I'm wearing the bikini to gauge what kind of state my neither region is in.
Oh I've talked about biscuit nips before but seriously we are now next level it's like looking at two ufo's in the mirror and wondering if I should report them but then I realise girllll that's you tittays! Shock horror there's basically no peachy boob left just big old brown nipples. I read somewhere one time it's so the baby can see where to feed at night? I may have made that up but I'm so sure it was a legit piece of information from good old dr Google when I was pregnant with Rocky and googled everything (do not Google anything ok ladies). So as you know jareds not here and I totally showed him my boobs when I was face timing him the other day just for shits and giggles really I knew he'd freak out and I received this txt during the aftermath JARED- I do miss you, not those hiddy titties though 😂 ME- hey hey hey they're cute 😂🙈 nah they're gross I totally know lol. Moral of me sharing that don't under any circumstance show the nips via face time.
This led on to my friend Eden texting me suggesting I try nipple tweaking to bring on labour she knows Jared is here this weekend and we haven't seen each other in three weeks so was all I'm sure Jared will happily join in, but she was unaware in the previous phone call with Jared (yep the nip facetime) he had laid out the guidelines and basically said just so you know GF the shop is shut don't you try and get at me this weekend aight, I'm way to close to "popping" apparently (side note I'd totally already shut the shop he was dreaming if he thought I was going to "try get at him" please I can resist that baby boy).
So friends that's basically all the embarrassing goods I have for you stay tuned I'm confident 36-37 weeks will provide some great mum entertainment for you all at my expense ✌🏼️