All right team are you ready for this, im sharing with you the truth about having sex after babies well what I think about the topic so get ready baby mamas it's all pretty shit haha.
Sex after having Rocky wasn't really something I thought about when I was pregnant I mean hello I had to push a bloody baby out of my vagina and I was not even considering what it would be like to get the D again. I think they tell you to wait like 6 weeks? I may be wrong but I think that's what I remember at my plunket appointments and the midwives advice. Funny story when my waters broke I rang to give my midwife a heads up and she's all try refrain from having sex from here on out, ummm duhhh lady why would I do that?! But apparently people do 😩.
Ok so the kids out he's pretty great things I guess are healing nicely and going along well considering I had an episiotomy and was stitched up like a stuffed teddy bear. But to be honest getting at Jared is the last thing on my mind I was sleep deprived from a new born and exhausted after a stupidly long labour I don't know if you've heard the stories that I have but apparently people like do it right after child birth like in the hospital rooms!! 😱 it's legit midwives have caught them I don't understand how? Why? Ahhhhh it's like my worst nightmare why would anyone want to do that like Bae ain't even going to touch the sides?!!
Ok now I've traumatised you with that knowledge lets get back to my experience, six weeks comes and goes and you can totally have sex if you want to but ah nah not me lol well maybe we tried I actually don't remember but let's just say if we did try it was not any thing to rave about and enough to put me off again for a pretty long time. I seem to say this a lot but poor Jared well poor any other half really however feel free to remind them they didn't push a bowling ball out of there pee hole which would basically be the equivalent to the baby out of vag scenario, I've read so many things in online mums groups where they only have sex so soon because of nagging by the old ball and chain I guess Jared knew better.
It was not fun it was horrible I think I cried? I probably cried then the next time as well it wasn't fun nor was the time after that it was all pretty horrible, months went by and it was still the most painful thing ever. I convinced myself there must be another reason like the said episiotomy I had so obviously I got stitched back up at the time and I told myself I must have been sewn up wrong so I booked an appointment with my amazing GP to put my mind at ease but noooooo she's away for ages so I just go to who ever and who ever was a lovely Indian doctor who tried her best to assure me that being "stitched up wrong" would not be the cause of my on going pain during inter course, the poor poor woman didn't know who she was messing with I was not paying $50.00 to have her tell me she wouldn't check my bits! I was not leaving until she looked at my vagina and she told me it looked normal so reluctantly she checked the peach out, told me it was fine took some swabs and I was off. Now I didn't actually think I was sewed up wrong I had a fab registrar who did a stellar job but I thought it might be a mental thing and hearing someone say girl your vag looks goooood would get me over that line and I would get my mojo back, this didn't happen I continued being frustrated literally and sexually just assuming it was the norm.
Cue conversation with my hairdresser about birth controls we were both on the Depo and she had mentioned really similar issues, no sex drive, pain, pretty much being anti sex! Well let me tell you the penny dropped OMG it was the Depo that stupid stupid jab I had been getting for the past 6-8 months I was planning on stopping any way to try for baby number two and almost instantly every single symptom went away like seriously I was back in that saddle and it was good it was also so so bloody simple! How did I not make the connection sooner why did I put up with that bull shit for so long? It was a good good day in our house that day 😉.
So 6-8 months after having Rocky and putting up with so many problems in the downstairs department I finally sorted it out and haven't looked back so don't be discouraged I'm pretty sure Depo or not that first time sucks it's been a while remember and your body has been through a lot so cut it some slack and don't push it take it slow relax get comfy and lube is your friend always remember the old mate KY.
I'm not really sure why we don't talk about this? Like is it really a taboo topic? Because if the conversation isn't had how many woman will continue suffering thinking they're the only one who can't put out after having a baby, don't get me wrong there must be woman that just bounce back with no problems but I'm positive that the majority of us sisters have a shit time in the sack. Ask your friends and think outside the box it will get better don't forget that and remember if you want to get your lady parts checked out don't let anyone tell you how stupid it sounds it's totally a legit fear.
Oh and I asked Jared why you have to wait to have sex after a baby he said is it because your intestines and stuff will fall out? I assure you that's not why 🙈.