With the birth of our new babe almost apon us I thought I'd share my birth story from Rocky. I love giving birth like its a weird obsession I've had for a long time I used to trawl the internet reading birth stories well before being pregnant or planning on being pregnant, it used to weird the shit out of Jared. Birth has never scared me and I can say that honestly I always knew I would birth without fear so when I was able to labour and get through a difficult birth with my first babe It was seriously amazing.
Sunday 15th December 7.00pm and we are heading out for a walk to try and get things moving because I was sure this baby would be coming early (he wasn't due until 31st December) when bam I look at Jared horrified and say ummmm babe either my waters just broke or I pissed myself! Thank god we hadn't actually felt the house yet. So I go to the toilet and do a wee but I can't stop the wee and with that it's confirmed this mama is in labour. I don't know what you all do when you go into labour but Jared totally lost his shit panicking all where's the bag, who do we ring, quick we must go to the hospital! And I'm all mate we went to seven weeks of antenatal for you to forget it all and panic. Panicking subsides and I still haven't figured out how to stop the leaking I've literally gone through a pack of maternity pads and after a phone call to my mum I find myself sitting on a towel for what feels like ever. I guess at this point we are both just a little over whelmed because we go outside and pass a rugby ball between the two of us until it gets dark only now do I realise that's a weird thing to do.
So basically things get intense really quickly I start having quite decent contractions and am all oh yeah let's meet this baby but my midwife doesn't seem so sure it'll be as soon as I think and tells me to make a nest in the lounge and get some sleep. I leave Jared in bed and make myself a haven in the lounge with the couch cushions all on the floor and try to sleep TRY is the key word here contractions are in full swing but instead of getting more frequent they just wake me up through out the night I'd say I got maybe 5 hours sleep tops but that's totally fine because our babe is coming.
Monday 16th December and I'm feeling good the plan is to stay at home as long as possible then heading up to the hospital, our amazing midwife comes out mid morning to see how I'm going and then heads away to let us do our thing and by that she meant me pant around the house stopping to grunt and groan every so often and Jared to do whatever he was doing. His mum and sister arrived from New Plymouth about lunch time and my best friend Alex came up from Wellington, everyone was here and I was so ready to meet our baby. Turns out he had other plans way longer plans. We decided to head to hospital at like 5.30pm Monday night because labouring was getting pretty intense and we were ready to get this show on the road, at the time we lived like 25 minutes from hospital shitty shit shit that was a bitch of a drive I spent the drive wriggling in my seat facing the front and climbing the back of the seat complaining and being pretty miserable. But we made it and this is when the fun really begins I'm eating ice blocks like it ain't no bodies business like not just eating them but munching them like I'm a cave woman every bite I take I make these weird chomp noises and I still don't now why?! It's basically a Bekah sandwich at this point Jared's holding me up and Alex is holding a heat pack on my back, I spend hours and hours in and out of the shower and breathing through the surges. It's hard im watching the clock and the time is disappearing I really thought I'd have had him by now.
Tuesday 17th December I remember looking at the clock ticking because let's be honest this has been one hell of a long time since the old waters broke, I remember feeling desperation because I was so exhausted and literally begging my baby to come out. I was willing him so gently by talking to him in my womb asking him come on baby mama wants to meet you please baby boy I was asking him to help me but he was as stubborn as he is now and there was no way in hell he was going to give me a break. It was hard work but I never stopped being positive I feel like after everything I was still mentally in a good place, I was petrified of a c section though surgery scares the shit out of me and I was so thankful that my midwife was on the same page as me and allowed me to labour and push for as long as she did before the hospital kind of took over. I can remember so clearly being told that I had got him down far enough and I would be birthing my baby vaginally it was the biggest weight of my shoulders and it gave me the final push that I needed. Pushing is meant to be the best part everyone told me that but I'm here to tell you it was the worst part like I pushed for a little over 4 hours and it was horrible every single part of the pushing stage killed me, I was expecting a feeling of relief feeling my baby move down and being so close to coming into this world but no it didn't happen that way for me. I ended up on the bed with my legs in stirrups and 10 new faces in the room, there was Derrick the lovely little Asian student doctor, a paediatrician or two, two hospital midwifes, a nurse or five and then the guy in the white milking gumboots and full surgical get up shit was getting real and very very soon we would have our beautiful boy earth side. Now the guy in the milk shed attire was the registrar he was a silver fox type Jared's mum thought he was gay and Alex thought he was a babe (turns out he was a married dad of 3 so totally babe), any way he was amazing well as amazing as he could be considering he cut my vagina open shoved both his hands inside the vag and pulled Rocky out. I had an episotimy and a ventouse delivery now I totally felt cheated here, when we covered ventouse and forceps delivery at antenatal class they made it sound like they just popped this little plug on the babies head and then sucked it out you know it would be over really quickly and you would have to do zero work boy oh boy was I wrong like seriously wrong so I'm on the bed all dignity lost and I have a contraction I look at the nurse and I'm all ahh I've got a contraction what do I do? Pretty much everyone looks at me and says push I actually told them I'm no that's not how this works you just suck it out? I don't do anything! What a nightmare.
So after a few more pushes/pulls/contractions/manipulating little Rocky Lima Keil was born 5.00am Tuesday 17th December 2013 weighing in at 7.3 pounds, because I had been in labour for a wee while and the fact I was pushing for 4 bloody long hours they whisked Rocky away so quickly to get some tests done obviously the trooper passed with flying colours and was snuggled up on Jareds chest in no time. It did take a wee bit of promoting well I call it promoting Jared would probably call it abuse, because I had to be stitched up my poor Jared was like a deer in headlights as far as he knew Rocky was fine but I'm still laid up on the bed writhing in pain whilst mr cow shed was sewing my bits back together he's holding hand and stroking my face so I'm literally yelling and swearing at him to get over to our baby and get your f'ing top off for skin to skin. Now Mr cow shed he was so lovely though he kept apologising because most woman would have had an epidural after that labour and I'd only had a local for the episiotomy so he was concerned about the pain I was in, lucky for him my sense of humour got us through after one particular sorry I'm all hey mate don't worry about it at least I'll have a designer vagina OMG!! What was I thinking that is the most embarrassing thing to say to the hunky doctor 😱 I'm pretty sure I made quite the impression on him though because later that day he came up to the ward to personally check on me apparently he never does that like ever.
So just like that, no kidding it was way longer than "just like that" lol we had a brand new tiny little babe who was equal parts Jared and me it was amazing we were on cloud nine and I couldn't wait to get our little family home. I stayed one night after Rockys birth even though I had really wanted to go home and I wish I did it was so hard being alone in the hospital I only had one break down when everything caught up with me but all in all I was just thankful having Rocky here.
Right baby mamas here's the good stuff. Most people poop I don't care what they say they pooped you try push a baby out of your vagina and simultaneously stop poop coming out your bum hole, it ain't happening you have no control over that GF and to be honest you probably won't even know you've done it I would have had no idea if Alex hadn't seen it 🙈. With friends one night we were discussing child birth and pooping in labour Jared pipes up and he's like bekah didn't poop I kept quiet then later was all thanks babe you totally covered for me back there, he's all what you mean you didn't poop I'm all um yeah yeah I did, he had no idea hahaha.
Pooping, peeing anything can happen in the late stages of labour I was on all fours on the bed working through some intense surges and needed to wee my midwife said oh just let it go you've emptied everything so it'll just be a dribble, honestly at this point you don't care I would have shat on the bed if she told me to by this stage. So I open the flood gates literally I pee what is meant to be a teeny tiny dribble but in reality it was a water bloody fall I can't stop it won't stop I'm mortified everyone is laughing at me and my poor midwife is beside her self because she shouldn't be laughing but she can't stop sniggering, it's like a horse pissing in a paddock it's so so bad but I owned it obviously and left Jareds mum and my midwife to clean it up.
As far as funny stories go during labour top those three, pissing on the bed, pooping on the bed and using the words "designer vagina" in front of medical professionals.
I was so fortunate to have such a good recovery I pooped easily after (a lot of people are terrified about this), I was walking around my room as soon as I got there after leaving the birth suite, I had no pain peeing after either. I also genuinely believe I had a great positive empowering birth, to this day I find nothing about my experiance traumatic when I know so many other woman who had similar births that had such a hard time accepting the way it went or finding it really traumatic and putting them off other children for a long time. I have no doubt in my mind birth and labour is all about your attitude I was in such a positive place and never once let myself go to a dark place, I had the most amazing midwife and best support crew which helped because they were on the same page as me we all knew how I wanted to labour and it was amazing. I read one book and highly recommend it I tell every pregnant person I meet to read it and it will change your life well your birth lol it's called Ina Mays Guide To Childbirth and it's fab it will empower you so much and you will birth the way you want too no matter what is thrown at you.
I am planning a home birth with new babe and I can't wait to share that experiance with you very very soon xxx.