Second child problems.

So I feel like I need to warn you all about this second child business. I mean the kid isn't even here and I'm already thinking why did I have a second child!! image

You see the problem is my vagina, you know how your meant to do those pesky little pelvic floor exercises but it's so annoying and you never remember too even if there's a cue like do them at the lights in your car or when you brush your teeth yeah well no one remembers that shit so no one ever actually does them. Which is totally fine if your a 24 year old Virgin but obviously I'm not I'm an old bloody whore getting ready to pop out her second child, any who back to pelvic floor muscles you should really do the exercises not just when your pregnant and your LMC or antenatal teacher tells you too but after you have had your child you need to keep it up! Obviously I'm not talking about straight after the baby has shimmied out of your vag because GF there would be no point I mean you don't even know what's happening down there it's just one big old mess but when you are ready and you have slight bladder control again you should seriously get the fanny clenches going, work those muscles because when you have another child it will makeย a huge difference!!!

When I had Rocky I'm pretty sure my waters just broke like I had some niggles but I basically just went into labour after no major downstairs hints. Oh my Lordy is it different this time around, I knew it would be as my Midwife had said subsequent babies feel a lot different to carry due to the muscles and pelvis etc already having been through the motions first time around. But I had noooooo bloody idea she meant it would feel like this!!! I am 38+2 and I have a bowling ball right down in my vagina like the baby is so low I feelย like it could fall out, I am not shitting with you I had to get up to answer the phone before and I legit had to hold myself to power walk/jog to answer it I swear on my life I thought it was going to fallย out. It is the strangest feeling it is uncomfortable, it is awkward and it's weird as f@*$ (I'm not allowed to say the F word on my blog my parents told me off ๐Ÿ˜‚) it literally feels like the baby's head is just in my undies and hanging out thanks to having a saggy vaggy from bearing my first child.

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So basicaly don't have another child like don't do it just grab a surrogate or maybe look into adopting? Trust me when I say it will do wonders for your lady bits if you choose not to carry second time around.

In other 38 week news I got honked at yesterday by some young tradies and I'm pretty stoked about it they probably didn't realise in that split second decision they became a step father of two, bet they're really regretting it now.

Oh and It's been suggested to me galloping around my lounge might help get the baby moving but I'm not convinced, I also am on night two of evening primrose capsules up the hoo ha at bed time but that's a whole nother story and I'm not sure how well it's workingย for reals shit is getting weird around here. I cried on the phone to Jared this morning because I want him here he told me to just go into labour and he will be here, I'm like it's not that easy JARED!! (this was in between sobs) he then offered some of his own suggestions to get things moving NUMBER ONE - Go poop and push so hard the baby's head just comes out NUMBER TWO - Pop a stick a stick up there to break my waters NUMBER THREE - Hire a male gigilo here in Christchurch to "help" the labour get started. I've concluded all three options aren't very suitable and my mum suggested her knitting needle would be far moreย hygenic than a stick off a tee outside.

Thats it for now team 38 weeks is shit โœŒ๐Ÿผ๏ธ xx