Now I'm a total drama queen like seriously I'm a spoilt brat lol. But I think we need to address some things because I'm a bit of a drama llama I might go on about needing this baby out ASAP, and I do purely for my own selfish reasons like Jared coming and dahhh I want to squeeze those bloody cute baby cheeks. However come on people you can stop hollering at me all your not even due yet, you shouldn't rush that baby out its not ready yet blah blah blah boo hoo.
Like let's be realistic people I know I'm not even 40 weeks and no matter how much galloping and stretching I do this kid will not come out until it's ready and more importantly until my body is ready to safely bring this babe earth side.
The galloping video for example I literally galloped for 7 seconds the length of the video I mean to be honest every jump basically made me wee a little, I ain't got time for that I literally own 2 pairs of woman's undies that I fit pissing my pants would seriously mess with that ratio. Now I'm not going to lie I may have shoved the odd pricked evening primrose oil tablet up the old hoo ha but I'm pretty sure all that does is make me leak all night and smell like a weird flax bush when I pee oh and I might get some fab nails and my hair might go super shiny but again if the babe ain't ready this won't just poof me into labour. The curb walking I'm lazy as shit I haven't curb walked since I posted that picture of me getting my curb walk on plus the heart burn was making it a bitch. I've had butter chicken once and added an extra teaspoon of chilli to my plate but why? Like I'm pregnant and hungry I want to enjoy my food and go back for seconds that ain't happening when my throat turns into the burning ring of fire!
The only thing I'm religiously doing to ripen the old cervix is drink raspberry leaf tea I literally drink 5 cups a day and that's at the recommendation of my midwife, I've drunken a whole frekin raspberry leaf bush I tell yah and it's not that nice but it's a whole lot nicer than caster oil which I have not touched. I'm not that desperate I might play it up because hello I'm huge BUT I'm not doing anything un safe or gross like pineapple juice I hate pineapples or caster oil which I'm pretty sure is un safe and not re commended but I know people still drink it so calm you farm girl friends this baby is happy and healthy in that tummy and it's welcome to come out when ever it wants (within the next 3 weeks). Believe it or not I'm actually pretty comfy I'm so lucky to have an amazing support crew around me which allows me to do jack shit and rest up for this babes arrival, I feel lucky to be so healthy and happy this late into my pregnancy and if you don't like my complaining get 💁🏼.
Now excuse me whilst I go break my waters with a rusty hook (obviously I'm not off to do that but let's be honest haters gone hate and someone's bound to think I'm actually that desperate).