I am over due. These are words I never expected to say thanks to my delightful first born who graced us with his presence two weeks early, it gave me this false hope all the children I birth will be early. I was wrong very very wrong, or was I?
I don't really believe in due dates they are just an estimate at the end of the day, I don't think Rocky was early I think his due date was the 20th December 2013 it was the scans that kept saying 31st or 1st. As far as I was concerned working out conception, periods, ovulation etc he was due on the 20th and arrived at a good size on the 17th so a few days before what I thought was his correct due date.
This time my body has said 27th October but scans have said 1st and 3rd November so could it be that we have it around the wrong way this time with the scans being more accurate and I am really due in a few days? I seriously have not been uncomfortable over the past few weeks like a 39/40 week pregnant heifer should be, Its only been yesterday and today that I'm really really feeling like a super hapu woman. We will never know if I'm truely over due or its all a front but I do know within a few weeks I'll have my squishy little babe in my arms.
So here I am possibly 40+3 possibly 39+3 seriously who bloody knows, just sitting here watching Coro st in my pjs eating a Moro bar compiling a list of the shit I tried to bring on labour that obviously hasn't worked. I find it hilarious when people say ohhh don't rush that baby ohhhh leave it in there as long as possibly! Ahh durrrr people this babe ain't coming until it's ready nothing I do is going to actually bring on labour but for my sanity and entertainment I've tried some weird shit.
- CURB WALKING, you literally walk in the curb. One foot in the gutter one foot on the curb and you get your power walk on, this is best done at night under the cover of darkness so no one can see how much of a dick you look. Obviously I'm to lazy for that shit so I did it in broad daylight where people no doubt thought I was loopy.
- RASPBERRY LEAF TEA, for realsies I've probably single handily drunk a whole bloody raspberry leaf plantation. I'm currently drinking like 5 cups a day but I think 3 is suffice, it's not that bad doesn't really have a taste some may say if tastes like dirty dish water but you just ignore them and drink away girls.
- EVENING PROMROSE OIL, right his one is good I'm so lazy I've done it randomly when I remember over the last few weeks but maybe if I did it consistently it would work?!!? You basically pop two in the mouth, 3 in the vag. Ideally before bed or you'll be walking around leaking a strange smelling yellow goo all day, just shove them right up there and pop a panty liner on so you don't wake up thinking your waters have broken or you've pissed your self (it gets messy). Oh and don't be alarmed when you wake up and your knickers smell like a flax bush it's totally normal.
- SEX, ahhhh the old sex theory. I learnt at antenatal classes with Rockys pregnancy that it's not actually the action of "sex" but it's the semen you need to get things going. Who would have thought I mean always assumed romping around would do it but then you think about the logistics and if your still romping with such passion to start labour at 40 weeks then your a legend or your partner is or something because when you resemble an elephant in the sack you might have to beg and trick your partner into the deed I know I had too and then when labour didn't follow within the next few days, SEX was very quickly crossed off the list and moved into the never happening again category.
- HOT CURRY, We had butter chicken for tea the other night it was shit. It would have been lovely but I added like an extra table spoon of chilli powder to mine so that it would bring on labour. It didn't bring on anything and this pregnant mama didn't get to enjoy dinner which is seriously the worst! So really weigh up your options here girls and decide what is more important the possibility of labour starting (slim chance) or stuffing your face with food. I know what I'd pick next time around.
- AQUA YOGA, Do this!!! Seriously it's good it'll you can find a class in your area it's amazing, ok it didn't get labour going but it's so worth it to keep fit and it is so relaxing. You learn some great breathing techniques and swimming is the best feeling when your huge the weight is totally lifted and sometimes you can even float!! That's a good feeling at 39 weeks I tell ya, the best confidence boost haha.
- GALLOPING, I'm not going to elaborate to much because I'm sure you've all seen the video I posted of me galloping like a horse around the back yard for about 7 seconds. I had to stop because mum was videoing and she was seriously about to pee herself lol. The added neighing is optional.
- STRETCHING/YOGA, I have an amazing stretching guide from the lovely active with D and I thought maybe I could stretch the babe out. It didn't work but shit I felt good after a session or two, I'm not going to lie there's literally been two sessions cause I'm really really fat and it's hard!! It's a pregnancy and postpartum guide so I'm really looking forward to doing this post pregnancy too. My lovely friend Sophie is a yoga instructor and we did a session the other day lets just say I had a few "jobs" to do during yoga time because it was torture I wasn't flexible before and oh hell I am so not flexible now! I kept sneaking off into the kitchen for snacks 😂.
- STARJUMPS, I did star jumps yesterday for about three minutes then I stopped because Rocky tried to copy and it was way to funny I got a stitch and couldn't possibly go on.
- MATCH STICKS, I dropped a whole pack of match sticks on the ground and picked them up one by one standing up in between. Shit knows what this does but it was funny as hell for the people watching and Rocky had a great time running over them with his truck.
- BAKING A CAKE, This is win win whether you go into labour or not so obviously I was going to give it a try. I made a huge banana cake with way to much cream cheese icing and just so you know it's been 24 hours and no baby but I've eaten half a cake so I'm looking at it glass half full.
- DATES, I've been eating four a day at the advice of my midwife but I highly recommend just making a sticky date pudding it's way better for you him sure of it.
And that my friends is my list of shit you can try to bring on labour that probably won't work. You could also try eating a pineapple and acupuncture but alas I hate pineapple and am scared shitless of needles so those two I will be leaving out, seriously nothing works unless the babe is ready so don't get to discouraged but give something a go and coincidentally you might get things started.If anything it will distract you and entertain your support crew plus eating cake is important at 40 weeks pregnant ok.
Have fun remember these are literally all old wives tales and zero of the above is scientifically proven or anything like that but you never know haha.