Soooo I had a baby 16 days ago, and on Saturday I had a meltdown about how I looked. It was weird because I feel great I'm super happy with the way my body has bounced back but as vain as it sounds I'm not used to being big I've always been a petite person and I struggled with how I was feeling and looking. All my baby girls were off to the races and I didn't go for obvious reasons (feeding the babe) but I wanted to feel apart of it all and got dressed in the heels and little black dress to pretend I was going lol. But then there were photos and I totally lost it I sat at he computer sobbing about how I looked when I'm very much a I don't care what any one else thinks type of gal, it was so weird but I guess between being depressed about not going to the best event in Chrustchurch and the hormones I just got really down.
In between my sobs I laughed because I knew how stupid it all was I had a number of people hollering at me for being a hot mama but I was not having a bar of it. I literally had two pairs of suck in undies on but felt incredibly self conscious about the old post babe belly, it was stupid like really stupid but it was real and that's why I'm sharing it with you. I got over it and had a fab day because I realised I really don't care and I 100% put it down to hormones it was very out of character for me but it's life I moved on feeling very normal and happy with myself because hello baby 16 days ago I feel great and I feel like I look great too!
The whole #takingbackpostpartum thing is amazing I love it but it has more than one side, when I had Rocky I literally thought I would just look like skinny Rebecca again instantly but then Kate the princess had George and I was pregnant with Rocky and she stepped out of the hospital looking amazing but she kept it real she totally rocked that postpartum belly. I remember talking to mum like wait what I'll still look pregnant? No, how? I was so confused but I now had more realistic expectations and realised still looking pregnant was totally normal and ok.
I follow a few new mamas on IG who are absolute babes both have had very healthy pregnancies and both have exercised and eaten healthy making good choices throughout the nine months carrying their babes.
But one has been praised for losing weight and literally bouncing right back within a matter of weeks due to good diet and exercise and one has been knocked every step of the way for doing the same. They have done the exact same thing but according to the social media world one has put her unborn children in harms way and one has made the best choice for her unborn child. One is amazing and strong one has been labeled vain and selfish there is no difference in these woman apart from one is more in touch with her appearance and posts more posey pictures in bikinis etc and one is more down to earth mumsie looking.
I have an issue with this because there is no difference but we as a society feel the need to bring a fellow mother down because she is less relatable? Both these mothers worked bloody hard! Way harder than me I lived on chicken nuggets, bacon and icecream with minimal exercise but I too am no different than them post birth I made my lifestyle choices they made theirs but we are all mothers who should not have answer to anyone we are all inspirational because we birthed children my body may look different to theirs post babe but not myself or the next person has any right to judge or put down any body especially a fellow woman and extra especially a fellow mother.
Which one of us are showing a realistic post baby body? Most would say me the average jo blogs who didn't look after her body like the fit mum down the road but I say all of us. What is realistic? What is unrealistic? Why are we body shaming the healthy looking mother of four with a flat stomach and abs almost showing through at six weeks postpartum? Would we body shame the mother who hasn't shifted any baby weight after six months? Would you body shame me?
I guess I'm getting at the fact that what is realistic to me might not be realistic to someone else, my reality was indulging but the next persons reality is healthy eating and exercise. How dare we as a society think it is ok to body shame anyone because it's not about being slim or big they are a mother and we should embrace them, we should support them! pushing a baby out is bloody hard work, shit getting a baby out full stop even without pushing is hard work so let's embrace each other and #takebackpostpardum in a way that is relevant to you not anyone else.
haters gone hate ladies but we should have each other's backs.
p.s yep totally got stretch marks this time and yep I'm totally ok with it.
Peace out ✌🏼️