I have two children Rocky and Ruby and they are being raised by a village. Its not a real village obviously like there's no cobble houses or streets made of dirt and stone oh and there's definitely not any horse and carriages all though I wouldn't mind that part. It's just a normal three bedroom house made out of bricks but there are some rad people that you would find in a village here and they are what I'm talking about.
We moved to Christchurch in September just me and the kid plus the 3/4 baked one, I was 36 weeks pregnant and we moved on a wing and a prayer because Jared could have left to police college at any time from October which would leave myself and two kids homeless. There were tears and tantrums mainly from me but we did it because we had to, well now we know we didn't have to because police college has been pushed out again and again and he probably won't go until March/April cue more tears and tantrums. That means we will be within the village for around 10 months all up (sorry mum and dad) it's pretty shitty because Jared misses out on us and we miss out on him, cue Village.
But in no way shape or form are these babes missing out on anything else. We have Poppa he does the manly shit you know him and Rocky go to mitre 10 (Rocky's fave place on earth), they go to speedway, they go to the horse races, they build things like sandpits, and dig in the back yard for water. Then there's Nana she does gardening with Rocky you no she plants things he tears them out, she gives really great cuddles when Ruby is feeding and mummy can't give cuddles, she takes him to the park almost daily, the go visit the ducks and quack together, she dances with him in the morning and she supply's him with never ending treats. Oh and we can't forget Aunty Sez she takes Rocky to his swim lesson every Sunday and they have sleep overs at her house to give us all a break from early mornings which means Poppa can read his paper in peace, she comes over to hang with him so I can nap with Ruby and she comes here on the way to work to take him to pre school even though she ends up being super early (she's his pre school teacher) and she puts on her pre school teacher singing voice and sings countless "pre school songs" with him even though she's been doing that all day at work.
We are pretty bloody lucky every single one of them has made this second round of mothering so easy, I ask for help on the daily like seriously why don't people ask for help? I get that some have an over whelming sense of pride (obviously I don't) because if it means I can wash myself or eat food then I'm all about it. I urge every single one of you mothers that are struggling with daily life to ask for help parenting is 50/50 and if you don't have another person to split it with then look around you it could be the grandparents or even a mate. You might think you are burdening them or that it's to much but I bet you it's not and the person you have decided to ask probably thinks finally I would love to squeeze that delicious babe for half an hour whilst mama bear takes a shower, I know pre children I would have jumped at the opportunity to do just that. There is absolutely no shame in asking for a helping hand especially if your struggling we need to look after ourselves just as much as our babies because if we aren't in a good place how can we be giving our babes 100% sometimes all it takes is a 45 min nap to feel human again, think about your over all wellbeing.
I challenge you to try it find someone you trust and ask for help or get them to hold your screaming off Spring for 45 minutes and pick something you enjoy doing you know shower, sleep, eat and then run so you can make the most of it.
I'm kind of rambling oops, but my point was our house is chaotic and crazy and loud and messy and you trip over babies and matchbox cars that you trip over a million times a day but it's lived in and we like it like that. Plus it's full of our fave people and we are all raising these children as a tribe might I add the coolest tribe out! We might be missing the most important link to us three and that's Jared but he slots in perfectly when he's here then we go back to using whanau teamwork until the next time we get to pick him up from the airport.
So thank you family for everything you do for us, poppa changes Rocky's shitty nappy with our fail every morning after he's gotten up with him at six am and Nana for staying up after night shift to sit on the side of of the sandpit and build sandcastles for him to then crash into over and over and over again with his truck.
We love our village and wouldn't have it any other way well we would have daddy here full time but we would still need our village peeps to be around and teach these babes things that mummy and daddy don't know about, shit I couldn't keep a plant alive to save myself and I don't think Jared could build a sandpit out of pallets these are skill our kids are getting just from being around family.
Keep up the good work team, we fell very luck to have you xx