The body issue.

  Lame heading I know it must be the go too heading for anything remotely body related lol.

But it seems to sum up this blog post so I'm sticking with it, I've had a few request to do a body confidence post and I can only imagine it's got something to do with my don't give a fuck attitude?! Don't get me wrong I've had my ups and downs but I know my body issues are nothing compared with some of my other baby mamas out there. 

I feel super lucky and blessed to have only ever loved my body I can never remember a time where I have been like yo why the shit did I get stuck with you for a body bud the rest of my life. No doubt I went through an awkward pre and then full on pubescent stage where I was gangly and gawky and flat chested with hair in weird places but it was never an issue, maybe I have my parents to thank for that instilling in me that I got this or maybe I'm just naturally a vain confidant kinda gal? Either way I think I got off pretty lightly it breaks my heart when I hear of girls that struggle and don't see the true beauty that they are when they look in the mirror I'm not even going to say I understand because I don't I haven't been there and it would be insulting for myself to be all oh I know GF, I don't know so I can't offer advice or help put a plan in place but what I can do is hope that this post in one way shape or form will help you love yourself and think you are a banging babe of a human.

Don't get me wrong I've had my ups and downs with old mate over here (my body) but I've come out on top every time, I can literally remember the day I got over the awkwardness I spoke off before and was like yolo I'm good. We were hanging at the school playing basketball after hours and this boy said to me you've got a moustache and I said back to him so? He then never said another word I guess owning it threw him off and he didn't have a come back maybe he expected me to run away crying or be all no I don't shut up wahhhhh but I didn't so shamo lamo 🖕🏼 to this day Jared will still keep me in check with his hilarious one liners like oh babe you wanna come have a shave with me you can use my razor? 🙄 whatever broooo .

   Then came the boobs I had like mosquito bites seriously guys they weren't exactly Dolly bosoms but again it never actually got me down I didn't ever have to wear a sports bra, I could wear any bikini I wanted and push up bras were a girls best friend. I used to think pre kids god what a disappointment it would be if a guy took me home only to find the boobs were incredibly misleading now I think the boy would have heart failure because the boobs have gone from mosquito bites to saggy ball sacks and the underwear oh god honey let me peel of my spanx ever so seductivly so my flabby, floppy pouch of a stomach can join the party. I did always say a boob job would be nice now I say a boob job is a nessecity and if I could choose my deflated breasts or those barely there bumps I would take the pip squeak ones in a heart beat haha. No but seriously team don't take those pre baby titties for granted when they're gone they're really gone.

Before I had Rocky who was super unplanned and quite the surprise I was in the best shape of my life, going to the gym flat stomach, banging legs and perky boobs. Oh you bounce back so quick after the fist your so young and fit they say wellll they lying! I lost weight really quickly but I didn't 'bounce back' as they put it I was left with a post baby body there was cellulite and dimples and love handles I'd never experienced before but was I ok with it? yes, did I have my issues with it? yes, did I long for my flat stomach to reappear? yes, but most importantly did I love it? Yes 100% want to know why? Because that bad ass body carried and birthed a pretty bloody cute babe and I'm incredibly thankful for that. 

I had my issues but believe it or not they didn't come from my own insecurities I was stuck feeling like a failure on some occasions due to other people's opinions which is really really not fair. I can remember when Rocky must have been a few months old being in the mall and strangers stoping to see Rocky (like older lady strangers do) then turning their un wanted attention to me where their input wasn't helpful or needed I would get oh you've lost weight quickly or how's your milk supply after getting so skinny that fast sometimes from people I knew but mainly from these mentioned strangers. One lady actually turned to Jared and said you should take her home and feed her some pies! Like what the hell lady would you walk up to a new mother that may not have dropped weight so quickly and say oh why haven't you lost your baby weight yet? Or oh how ls your milk supply seen as though you haven't lost any weight yet? No that would never happen not from a stranger any way so why did this person have the right to walk up to me and force her opinions on myself?! That one really knocked me but not for long obviously as this baby mama has a thick skin who basically laughs everything off, but imagine if I was already dealing with post baby blues and then I was made to feel like I was failing in some sort of way to imply I may not be feeding my child adequately because of how I naturally and healthily had lost baby weight is absolutely absurd. 

Then came Ruby I was slim before her making her presence and un slimifying me but I can't say a lot of work or effort went into toning up or anything like that after Rocky so it wasn't hard to 'Let myself go' during that pregnancy! She wasn't kind to me but I wasn't kind to myself I wasn't really exercising and I wasn't exactly eating a balanced diet, sooooo it was absolutely no surprise that she/me did some damage to my body.

I got stretch marks on stretch marks and cellulite on cellulite I got rolls in places you shouldn't get rolls and I waddled like a hippo. But I didn't turn into a swollen Sasquatch like I did with Rocky and my boobs were all Pam Anderson once again you win some you lose some right?! 

I struggled more with my post baby weight this time around I had higher expectations I'm not sure why though I literally ate icecream and chicken nuggets daily for nine months haha. Butttt I didn't dwell on it I have people in my life to remind me this body gave me two children, this body fed two children and this body loves two children. I got over it and started to appreciate the fact I had an excuse to be a little tubby and own it, I chose to own it even if sometimes it was hard. It's funny though I am no where near where I want to be but I'm enjoying this new body it's challenging don't get me wrong today I tried on some old shorts that would have fit but my hips are huge so no way Jose they were not doing up, bikinis oh god the struggle is real my butt is huge, my thighs are huge and my boobs are huge this does not make it easy. I need support and suction and easy access for breast feeding butttt what I thought was easy access is actually what some would class as top less waitressing? I can't lean over of the tata's fall out.

   I'm all about owning it just the other day I was running down the beach after my children (a little less bay watch and a little more nanny McPhee) when two babing yound Sheila's arrived as they peeled their clothes off and lay out in the sun I thought for a split second oh those were the days eek what do they think of me frolicking around boobs flopping out and flab flopping around but then I stopped it was literally a second because I am so happy with my body and not ashamed, those baby girls should hope to look like this one day after having two children and be proud of their body as well so what example am I setting for them or my Ruby if I'm not backing myself 100%.

I look at this photo and see the bumpy uneven skin (formerly known as cellulite) but I also see amazing curves! I look at this photo and see some chunky thighs but I also see a strong woman they are holding up, I look at this photo and see chubby arms but I also see a incredibly happy mum of two who is beaming ear to ear oh and dahhhh I see huge knockers. 

 I'm just yarning now but I really want to send a positive message about being a mama and really really loving our bodies. We are what we are having a body that looks like it has nourished two children whether it be birth, carry or feed them. Own it act like that flab is actually a set of abs, love those new found curves because they might just disappear one day, appreciate the nice full boobs because they will dissapear one day and be confident in your body, in yourself and in life. Be confident with choices you make, with the way you raise your family, with the way you present your self and in life. You deserve it and your family deserves it but most importantly your daughter or granddaughters deserve it, they deserve you to love yourself like you love them.

I'm not out to start a me event or anything I'm not that cool haha but be kind to yourself baby girls.