Right I'm doing a classic Bekah here and leaving shit till the absolute last minute! I'm that kid you know the one that leaves the home work till the night before and thats me being prepared the usual would be getting up at like 5am the morning that the assignment is due and starting it then. I feel like I'm a good talker and 9/10 I can talk my way around it plus I'm a pretty good excuse maker uperer. So where am I going with this on Good Friday you might ask? well I'm obviously going to tell you my top picks for easter presents. But I'm so unorganised that I'm kind of going to grab shit of the internet and tell you Ive got it for my kids when really I don't and then I'll show you my last minute lameo ideas that include recycling Rocky's toys and giving Ruby Rockys hand me downs and a hat nana knitted (not for easter).
Heres a list of easter fails I've compiled for you
- Rocky found his easter eggs and demanded them, I tried to say no but he's so cute sooooo I just gave him one little one then re hid them somewhere I don't really remember and I hope my mum knows where they are.
- I have eaten a $14.00 mix bag of mars bar, m&ms and malteasers that I brought for Rocky's easter egg hunt.
- Ruby has nothing.
- I started filling Rockys plastic suprise eggs yesterday (with toys out of his own toy box) and then I went out and left them on the lounge floor so when Poppa picked him up from preschool he found them. I'm not to worried because I'm confident he will have forgotten what I put in them all ready he's not that bright.
- I don't even know what day easter is like I know theres Good Friday and Easter Monday but when the fuck do we hide the eggs from the easter bunny.
- Rocky thinks every day is easter because he's already eaten that many easter eggs.
- My kids addicted to sugar.
- I seriously don't know where I hid all the easter loot.
Rocky's first easter he was like four months old and he got more than him and Ruby are getting combined this year, I'm sorry Ruby its just that your the second kid and I think that explains it all yes? And Rocky my man I just could not be bothered with the cute outfit and the thoughtful educational items like a book and knitted hot cross buns from last year (ohhhhhhh I so forgot about them and I can/am totally recycling them for Ruby this year! boom go me) but it's ok because I'm writing this blog and I'm putting pictures up here of what I could of brought you if i was an uber mum. (I decided to not run with this idea cause I'm lazy)
I thought about heading out on Saturday to grab you a pair of PJs each because that's cute right? some fresh winter PJs for easter but then I was like ehh I don't know if I'm that game I mean people go crazy when the mall is shut for a day and I just don't care that much, like there's nothing wrong with what I've got you/haven't gotten you. Can you imagine it's as if people think the world stops when the supermarket is shut for 24 hours like there will be a zombie apocalypse and we won't have anything to eat but other peoples brains so we must rush out tot he supermarket and buy everything in sight!!!! Don't be that person just stay at home play it cool, maybe stalk out some easter sales because obviously that's what easter is about and your kids don't know if you got them easter presents or not just give them another easter egg and that will shut them the hell up. Also you did get easter eggs right!? like your not that much or a terrible parent are you?! Shit if you didn't get an easter egg disregard everything I've just said about zombie apocalypse and busy malls get in your god damn car at 9.00am Saturday morning and get your kid a bloody easter egg you can do what I do and just start the sugar free lifestyle on Monday or in our case when the easter loot has all run out and if you do manage to keep your off spring sugar free just be a GC slip that little sucker a mini creme egg or something trust me it will all be ok.
Speaking of sugar free Rocky and I were having a bath the other night and I explained to him "Rocky mate after easter we are going to cut back on your sugar intake" "ok buddy its for the best" he then said "but Mama I like sugar" SHIT what have I done I'm raising a monster he legit just schooled me on my sugar free plans and he was so cute when he said it I rewarded him with a sugar cube JOKES obvs I'm joking guys only pageant mums do that on toddlers and tiaras I'm no pageant mum have you seen my children nothing but filth they are which is totally the way we like it.
So Easter here is pretty low key but also pretty bloody rad this will be my last ester that I can have free reign and use a child as an excuse NOOOOO I'm not Hapu I'm just a lactating mother and my baby needs calcium which she receives through my milk which I produce through he calcium in cadbury.
Ok off to stuff my lactating face.
*I also didn't provide those pictures of things I could have brought my children like I stated I was going to above. Sorry but it was so much effort when if you like me don't already have any of those things why look? like you've basically already ruined your children's easter along with their teeth because again like me all you really brought them for easter was chocolate.