Hello Baby Daddy.

 

I see people hating on the term baby daddy all the time like its offensive or something but not me over here I bloody love it, its kind of the perfect amount of ghetto and class ha now that I've cleared that up I'm going to talk about the baby daddy and everything baby daddy related. Todays kind of a big deal today marks 10 years since he asked me out via cellular phone communications it was sooooo long ago texting wasn't a thing back then ha jokes it was but I did have a huge brick of an alcatel or maybe it was an even cooler nokia 1080. Ok so we've established it was ageeesssssss ago but lets get into the nitty gritty.

I've actually had a few people message asking for the dets on the baby daddy (yes i will refer to him as this right thought this post) well like our relationship not really his specs. So what better time to share than today on the ANNIVERSARY my mum literally gave him a hug this morning and said ""congrats he was like why? she's all "you've but up with B for a long time"! Thanks mum. Right so the action texting was in 2006 I was 15 and he had literally turned 15 a few weeks before ahhhh young love, we met through mutual friends well kind of he was dating my bestie and I was going out with a guy he played basketball with so naturally our paths crossed. Obvs they broke up and the older guys I was seeing was a dick so we broke up because Jared and I were like so totally meant to be, I was being a bit of a terror for my parents as you are when your a 15 year old teenage girl and then I meet Jared and he saved me blah blah blah kidding I was still a terror. Right we aren't going anywhere with this lets get back on track we are dating, playing it cool hanging out at mountain air games (Taranaki Basketball team) pashing at parties and playing pool at bowlerama (this is what all the cool kids did ok). I guess we can fast forward a year or two maybe we are like 17 now its funny becasue so many times people say to me oh you can't have lived much or you mustn't have experienced life, I didn't get knocked up at 15 guys I just got a long term lover and we didn't even know it was going to be long term back then (and not that theres anything wrong with having a babe young power to you mamas) but its like I ruined my life by getting a boyfriend at 15 and keeping him for 10 years. Well kinda keeping him for 10 years don't get me wrong we were 17 year old hormonal freaks don't tell me you weren't?! I totally slept with other people and so did he I mean I'm all about honesty and being realistic he knows my dirt and I know his ha he knows the people I ran off with when at 17 we broke up over literally nothing and I know the baby girls he ran off with. Does that matter NO! did it ever matter NO! I think we are both incredibly rational people and eventually we realised hey if we keep ending up back together maybe the universe is telling us something?. We weren't perfect but we had fun and we lived and we had amazing friends and I look back now and think what a sweet time I had in those teenage years and I know Jared thinks the same if we knew what YOLO was then we would have totally been all YOLOing it.

Ok boom High school done phew we made it just lol. So now we are like arghhhhhh what do we do, I was moving to Auckland for Make Up School because once upon a time I cared how I looked and got dressed every day. The plan was to stay together and long distance it, did it work? No it didn't buttttttt it didn't work for all the right reasons, Jared came to auckland literally weeks after I left ha yep I'm that amazing at being a GF he just couldn't stand being apart from me. He was going into the army so was kind of just hanging out until then (which ended up taking a year because Jared has the worst luck ever with jobs and something went wrong at an admin end) so he just missed me so much and moved to Auckland to work as a kitchen hand until the army thing happened, we lived with his grandparents and it was ok but we didn't love Auckland well Jared did but I hated it.We stayed in Grey Lynn for a year before moving back home to Taranaki where I started work at Farmers on a makeup counter, he had gotten a date for his basic training and I was not staying in Auckland alone. We moved back to NP and lived with his parents before we got our own place it was so exciting because we hadn't ever lived alone together before, we were such grown ups now at the tender age of 19. This was fun it was a cool little place and then we really took the relationship to the next level by having our first child. No I don't keep a secret child in a cupboard and yes we only have the two human children but we also have a dog Ollie, he is a border collie and we got him a month or two before Jared went to Basic Training in Waiouru its funny because I still have letters I would write Jared like oh Ollie did this today and I know he misses you hahaha now we have real children and I'm like what was I thinking.

In July 2010 July 5th to be exact Jared went to Waiouru to Basic Traiing with the Army that was five months so I moved back home with a freking terror of a puppy and lived with mum and dad until he was finished and we got a house in Linton Army Camp Palmerston North, we moved there January 2011 and I guess that was really when we started acting like actual adults living in an actual house with actual food and stuff, we lived there for almost five years. It was good for the most part but even though we thought we were all mature and stuff we so weren't. By now we had been together for five or so years and they were by no means prefect years full of beautiful relationship bliss anyone who tells you they have happily been in a loving relationship for that long at that age is lying. I'm sorry those are just the facts yes they might have loved each other with every fibre of themselves over those five years but I bet my bottom dollar there were times that were stupidly hard and it would have been so so easy to have just walked away. Relationships are hard in general but they are even harder when you move to a new town and have no support network or friends and rely on each other so much its annoying. I say rely on each other but if we are being completely honest I was the weaker link here because Jared had friends he had just spent five months forming these friendships and walked into a ready made good time, me on the other hand I knew no one apart form my 90 year old gran and a couple of aunties so I was really thrown in the deep end. Jared turned into that guy that took his GF everywhere and I know he despised me for it but we were lucky enough to form a rad bunch of mates who accepted me as the weird Biggie rapping bossy as fuck gal pal. These years were probably our hardest years it was a round the 6/7 year mark (7 year itch maybe) that we actually realised how hard relationships are, we were probably an inch away from packing at all in and walking away it was a nightmare. We were fighting and crying and just so frustrated with life, I think it stemmed from a lot of things and we were both 100% at fault we had nice things that we probably couldn't afford (remember young and dumb) which meant we had bills, we were going out and boozing a lot which meant we were spending all of our money that wasn't going on bills, we were frustrated like I said I think that is the best word to describe the situation. We weren't mature enough to realise where our problems were stemming from and we could have so easily walked away, there were infidelities and heart ache but the heart ache wasn't all bad both our hearts ached at the situation but also at each other we loved each other there was nothing that could change that and there was no denying it. I can remember so clearly both of us sitting on the bedroom floor just looking at each other so lost and scared of losing each other, ultimately we talked a lot and worked through everything (there was a lot of talking) and love won, we accepted our wrongs and righted them we made peace with bad decisions and we made plans to move forward we worked hard like really hard to fix what was broken.

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Oh and during all of that there came the ring, we got engaged on the 28th December 2011 in Gisborne where we were for R&V it was also my 21st. Shit it was good he came out wearing this cute suit and he played our song you know how couples have a song, then he said some stuff that I couldn't tell you cause I cried a lot and said NO NO NO but obis I was said YES I was just all hopped up on emotion and possibly alcohol.

Then came the baby, things were really really good and them bam hello little pink line hanging out with its mate the other pink line on the good old piss test. It was Anzac day 2013 and we had been up since like four am because Jared had the dawn parade he was asleep on the couch and I was peeing on a stick, it was negative just that one lone line so I had a bath but then when I got out and got dressed and went to throw it out there were two lines they were faint but they were there the two of them side by side. Did I mention I had an IUD in like I was on birth control and a baby was not in the plan?! not this soon any way we had shit to do. So fast forward what nine months and we had a little hairy baby Rocky Lima Keil he was born on the 17th December two weeks early and if you want to you can read his birth story here. Life was good it was different but it was good Jared is seriously the most amazing dad you could ever imagine like in your head right now imagine your ideal dad for your children and it's Jared haha ok its probably your own baby daddy but Jared's pretty fucking good at this dad gig. They say you never know how much you love your partner until you've seen how much they love their children and seriously my heart doubled in size not just because I had this teeny tiny kind of beautiful but kind of alien looking baby but I was seeing Jared in a total new light he wasn't just this generous and loving partner but he was now a proud and protective dad that would do anything for not just me but for our child as well. Theres nothing that compares to seeing Jared hold Rocky for the first time and the love is crazy like seriously its euphoric. Don't get me wrong that first year is hard like parenting as a unit has its moments but I really think we coped as well as we could have we literally knew everything about each other there was nothing new you know no hidden surprises that came out under the pressures of no sleep and a screaming baby. Personally I think we absolutely killed it as first time parents with no clue what the actual fuck was going on. Jared was away ALOT that first year he was back and forth from Waiouru and he spent seven weeks away in Hawaii there were plenty of tears from Rocky and I but baby daddy was always there to pick up the pieces even if it was just over the phone.

He applied for the police a few years ago it was always part of the plan army for some life experience then police as the career so thats always been going on in the background as well he was all set to go last June an then he tore his ACL (second time) playing basketball he's now been forced into retirement haha. So that was put off and he's now just got a new date and he's going to police college in July we are all very very excited as it's been in the making for the last three years, we had decided to move to Christchurch and he was able to secure his role in the police down here so we moved here in September last year. Again it wasn't without it's challenges the kids and I well the kid and I and the half baked Ruby headed down here in September last year with the impression Jared would be going to police college in Jan or Feb but no it got put off and put off and put off, so he had to stay in the North Island working until we could figure out our next move. He sacrificed so much to continue to support us when when we moved here, he missed out on seeing Rocky every day and there was always a chance he would miss Ruby's birth (which terrified me) but again things have a way of working out and he ended up being her for her birth and a wee bit leading p to it and for a few weeks after. It was bliss having him around after  missing him so so much. Just like when I moved to Auckland and he came with me not long after the same thing happened after I'd had Ruby it didn't take long for him to leave the green uniform behind and head down here to be a family with us again even though he has had to work shitty jobs over the last few months to support us, it is sooooooooo soooooooo good having him here and being a family again for now any way.

Ok so I skipped Rubys birth read about that here but she was planned and my god what a different experience that was yano planning a baby and not having a bloody heart attack when you realise your pregnant. Ha the excitement when you pee on a stick and its positive instead of the instant stomach dropping feeling you get when its positive and not expected, Ruby is the most perfect addition to our family seriously she could not be more perfect. We are done and dusted I'm 99% sure and Jared's 100% sure so we will see what happens I guess you never know what the future holds and like I said before about how amazing it was seeing Jared with Ruby it's something else when you see the person you love lay eyes on his baby girl for the first time, baby girls and their dads oh my heart melts thinking about it.

I'm kind of yarning but thats the story, it will take a turn next year when we get married I'm so so so excited if you can't tell already by my spamming. We are heading home to Taranaki and are getting married down the coast in January 2017, finally he's putting another ring on it we were actually planning on getting married a lot sooner but then Rocky happened so the wedding was put off and it was probably a blessing in disguise. We then decided to bang out that other kid (Ruby) and be done so they would both be at the wedding. I can't wait for so many aspects of the wedding I literally am way to excited about having the same last name as the rest of my tribe and just being Mrs Keil argh my heart flutters thinking about it.

 

Jared Trini Keil you are my everything and my everything more, you are my forever and my forever after, you literally make me weak at the knees still. You are such a babe and so so kind, you will make the most amazing husband and you are already the raddest dad on the planet. These kids are so lucky to have you like for realises Rocky has the best male role model and Ruby shit she's going to be protected by you for longer than she will probably want too.

My relationship with Jared is my main priority I love our kids so much but one day they will be gone living their own lives and having their own families its human nature they will leave the nest and then it will just be me and him, just the two of us on our own happy and enjoying life as best friends. That is why I need to protect us and look after this relationship we have as parents and as soul mates, you Jared will always be my one and only, you are my person and soulmate.

B xx