Playground rules.

I started this post a week ago and I'm just finishing it now ha any who last week we went to the playground but not just any old playground this is the creme de la creme of playgrounds, you see its worth a lot of money and its named after Margaret Mahy its seriously epic. I really don't like the fact that I just used the world epic to describe something but I don't know what else to say its that GOOD. 13128890_10209192506239253_267282093_o

I am going to do a whole post on this playground because you need to see it but for now I will just talk about playground etiquette because today I observed a fair bit oh and on the weekend I witnessed an old girl there with her grandkids whip out a wine glass and pour herself a cheeky red at like 2pm, I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or all well played nana wino.

Right today I took the kids on my own to this wonderland (it's almost like coachella for kids minus the drugs but if your kids are seriously crazy maybe dope them up on something before you go) any way there were like one billion kids there because ahhhh its school holidays, did I mention I never take the two of them out on my own like ever unless its a walk where Rocky is restrained and did I also mention I forgot to take the pram to this glorious playground so I could only restrain the one child that didn't actually need restraining, I thought abut fashioning one of those baby leads out of some rope in the back of my dads truck but then I thought people might not my kiwi ingenuity and I would have cyfs called on me. It would literally take a second to lose one of them (hopefully Rocky because if I lost Ruby it would 100% be my fault as she can't run away on her own yet) and then once they're gone it would be like finding a needle in a pint sized child hay stack. The parents kind of gravitated to the edges which is cool I'm pretty far from a helicopter parent but I was hovering slightly today seen as though I was riding solo with the kid off his leash (I don't actually have one of those leashes by the way) any way I'm heading off topic I will discuss helicopter parents another day but for today this is a random ramble about the playground hunger games.

So today as I hovered around Rocky, Ruby strapped to my chest in our Mountain Buggy Juno and I people watched. I love a good people watching session especially in the holidays it brings out all the crazies in the family, the first thing I noticed was the little wannabe hood rat tweens hanging around the in ground trampolines argh you know with their lame phones playing lame music like we all cared what they were listening too. Rocky wanted to hit the tramps first so I had to wrangle my way between skateboards and back packs to get there where I waited super obviously right on the edge of the tramp for Rocky's turn, I knew he'd only be interested in bouncing for a matter of minutes if that so I was sure to make eye contact with the boy in the backwards cap to give him the move on mate stare. These ones I can take I wasn't too worried they aren't that bad they are semi polite, I even heard one of them tell the boy with the 'sounds' to change the song as it wasn't appropriate this made me happy a little. Yes they want to get there mega bounce on and yes to some they may be classed as a nuisance but I'm sure a firm word from myself would have pulled them back into line (uber cool looking mum over here remember) if need be like I said they had a semi politeness way about them and they seemed to be letting the little kids jump in between the flips they were doing and in their down time they would take swigs of their budget bottle of coke (I'm 99.6% sure there was no rum in there).

Then there was the the less hood rat tweens they were maybe slightly younger and more of pre tweens, these ones hung out in the sand pit (its more of a beach like its that bloody big). These ones I found more challenging and as I watched other parents I knew I wasn't the only one, they are a funny age like I knew the parents were there but because of their age they weren't being active supervised. I get this like when your kid gets to a certain age it must feel so good to not have to worry about them so much and have to hover like I was doing, they are big enough and ugly enough to play solo and not get lost or run away or get stolen. God I can't wait for this day Ihowever there are some manners I hope to teach Rocky to ensure he treats others with respect, just some common courtesy he can practice when playing alongside other kids. These older boys were incredibly frustrating they pushed other kids when they became to close to their creations and they were rude and angry as they yelled at toddlers for stepping into their trenches, I understand when you have built something the last thing you want is to have it ruined by a bloody toddler but lets be realistic majority of kids here are younger than you and your literally building a sandcastle village thing in the middle of the sandpit and its slowly but surely taking up every inch of the area. I'm just saying where do you think the other kids are going to play? Maybe if you are so hell bent of creating such a masterpiece that no one is allowed to touch you could include these small children who so desperately want to play with you and build their own creations within 'your' village, you could say that its ok when my two year old dug at your sandcastle and as an actively supervising mum I obviously made him apologise because duh I'm trying to teach him right from wrong but you yelled at him and went to push him away seriously mate my toddler had better manners and respect than you. It was frustrating on so many levels like I knew the parent was there but they either weren't watching their child or they just didn't care, I am in no way shape or form an over protective mum like I am all for a bit of playground banter and theres going to be a shove here and there but from similar age groups not an 11 year old getting pissy at a two year old.

Don't get me wrong Rocky isn't the best at sharing he will fight a kid over a toy and thats ok but when he is in the wrong he will be made to apologise and if he can't work it out with the kid then I will help them resolve it and do it in a way Rocky learns because thats my responsibility as his parent. I try not to judge other parenting styles I know we all have our own shit going on but come on guys teach your kids some manners and give them a wee class in etiquitte trust me it will help them go a long way in life. Rocky may be totally feral but he's polite actually he's incredibly well mannered because thats a value both Jared and I felt was important to teach him from a very young age, I hope as he grows he will be kind and see the bigger picture at all times, I hope he will be able to problem solve instead of just shoving and I hope he will be thoughtful when it comes to using words because words hurt just as much.

Ok so there was this other grandma there (not the one drinking the shady red) and she was not enjoying these boys and was so not down on them 'owning' the sand pit, I love a grandma like this. My mum is this grandma ha she is a protector and god forbid you mess with her babies well actually at the museum yesterday she stuck up for a wee stranger of a kid because another bigger kid pushed in line, she actually had words with another grandma at another park who actively encouraged and helped her toddler grandson to push inline and when mum called her out on it she just pushed the kid higher up the stairs to the slide and walked away (she was a foreign lady and I did point out maybe she didn't understand english but then we heard her yelling at the kid in english so I think she had selective english ha) Any way I'm going off topic but as  an avid people watcher I love to mentally take notes of other peoples stories call me a creep if you must but its so good lol. So back to original pushy grandma these bog boys had taken over the tower in the sand pit and wouldn't let any other kids play with the pully system that transported sand, I had been watching and they had yelled at one to many toddlers for my liking as stye eagerly tried to fill the bucket with sand or if they dared to try and take a share of the sand being emptyed at the bottom all they got was an earful again where the fuck were there parents?! They were so rude and so self righteous I would love to stereo type this one but I won't haha, any way this random g ma shut their operations down so swiftly you se she was quite large on the behind and she used every inch of that survey asset to block these kid left right and centre. It was so funny they couldn't get past her every time they tried she would change angle and shove all her womanly goodies in their stupid little faces until they gave up, I almost sensed we (the other pissy semi helicopter mums) were going to break into apluad and crowd around grandma praising her for the excellent job she did with operation save the sand pit from the rude tweens with your grandma ghetto booty, she deserved a medal!

You know how I said the slightly ghetto ones didn't face me its because they would have listened I felt they had more of a respect your elders presence about them than these wee yuppy ones, they were the type that if you were all stop being little buck ass brats would have back chatted you then ran off to mummy crying until she came and had a go at you because there was no way her son would do what you have accused them off and blah blah blah (I said I wasn't going to stereotype my bad) and then I would of been all well where were you? and she would have been all over there drinking my skim milk extra tall latte with a shot of bulls semen hoping it would help the stress lines she had because her kid is a bratty twat and her husband is always away for work. WOAH B you got way carried away on that story line (soz) but then she would of been all I could see everything and my boys were playing like angles and I would of been all yeah if you like stupid stuck up I own everything I touch angels and then we would have fought, like a mum playground scrap (jokes I've gone to far again) I'm way to classy to scrap out another mum intact I had girls who fight fullstops its disgusting and trashy. Again off topic I think I need to wrap this up or it might turn into a completely non fictional version of events based on the interesting characters I encountered and you don't not see where I would take grandma number one with the old wine glass.

I think I just felt like a yarn and once I started I couldn't stop ha but sometimes thats what you get with me yarn yarn yarn yarn but I also think that why so may of you tune back in each time to read more! So thank you for reading and thank you for always coming back.

B xx