It’s midwifes’ day yo! So I thought I would dedicate a little post to them because I for one love a good midwife we have had two in our and also first pop around we had a whole lot of hospital midwife action happening, one of my fave people in the whole wide world is a midwife, I mean I don’t know her but she is the most wonderful women she is Ina May Gaskin and she is truly inspirational. She is the reason I had Rocky so confidently when shit hit that fan and she is the reason why I am so bloody passionate about giving birth to a mini human/alien and why I am such an advocate for midwives.
It’s no surprise I’m such a midwife lover when I would literally be one tomorrow if I could handle the jandal but I can’t because I don’t like blood and I don’t like needles argh gross, but if I enjoyed those things I would do it in a heartbeat. I’ve written about how to pick a midwife here and you can read my birth stories here (Rocky) here (Ruby) I had complete polar opposite births Rocky was a 37-hour labor that resulting in four hours pushing and a ventouse delivery, I was petrified of a c section because surgery terrifies me and my beautiful midwife Nicki was 100% what I needed. With what could have been a very traumatic birth and resonates with so many women as a traumatic birth Nicki made it enjoyable, yep I just described a 37-hour labor enjoyable. She was calm and just hung out she kept the doctors at bay because she believed it me, we were fine, well a little tired but fine both Rocky and I were doing great we had been working hard but no heartbeats had dropped and we were doing perfectly I just couldn’t seem to get his fat head through the old birth canal. I have no doubt in my mind the doctor in charge would have whipped me off for a c section well and truly before if she had let him but she was team B and she kept everything going swimmingly, it came to the point where the others had to step in but I 100% credit Nicki for having the beautiful birth that I did, no shit yo I was ready to have another baby the next day. She was everything you want in a midwife, trusting, caring, supportive, a little bit distant (in a good way so I could just do my thang), she also put my name on a big old box of lemonade ice blocks because I was eating those like they were going out of fashion, this woman was a god send right from the moment I met her I knew she was my person she was the perfect mix of hippy and medical which I’m all about ha.
Then there was Ruby remember that time I told you I gave birth in my parents lounge with no midwife, yep that happened and I pretty much class myself as an emergency midwife now like I would happily help a lady push a watermelon out of her vag any day of the week, I had the greatest midwife with Ruby her name was Heff and she was that person that just grabbed you on your first meeting and pulling you into her huge bosoms, she was all kinds of wonderful the exact person you need on your team. Now remember I have a theme with midwives I basically pick them by one rule the hippy to medical ratio they have to be like cool with me wanting to birth holding on to a tree but then reign me in if I decide I want to birth in the ocean with the dolphin’s as my LMC, that’s pretty much my only criteria. I met Heff over the phone I booked her as soon as I found out I was pregnant we were living in the North Island but I knew I was having the babe in the South Island so I just went on the old interweb and I just liked her picture so I gave her a call and booked her on the spot I didn’t meet her until the 20-week mark and I once again just knew she was my gal, so much warmth and love in one room. Turns out she missed my birth remember to read about that here but she was still the bossest midwife around, I actually felt bad she missed the birth and I knew she felt terrible it was completely out of her hands and she would have been the best birthing partner but we did ok with me Kourtney Kardashianing her up out of my vagina! She gave me the tools and confidence to believe in myself to have the homebirth of my dreams in the first place and after the birth she trusted me to know my body and make decisions around stitching the old twot up like a Sunday roast when I said I don’t need stiches (I had a great tear but it was super clean, I’m pretty proud of this).
Do you know we are super fucking lucky we are to have midwifes and the LMC care that we have in NZ, we are so lucky to be able to birth the way we want where we want ok so not in the ocean remember that’s a terrible idea but we can birth at home, in a hospital or in a birth center (or a car, the side of the road or even a strangers home last resorts guys). Midwifes are why we have so many options here in NZ, they are the reason why we get to birth our way, they are the backbone of childbirth in New Zealand.
And the after care?! OMG the aftercare shit they look after us good, I remember having to say good bye no Nicki our first midwife shit it was terrifying but she had set me up for success she had me believing that what I was doing was right and that whatever decisions Jared and I made we were making the right ones, she answered texts from us as scared young new parents she didn’t make us feel like we couldn’t call her or text her when we were worried about the little thing. We had Rocky on the 17th of December we still saw Nicki that whole time around Christmas I remember feeling bad that she was with us when she should have been enjoying her kids at Christmas time but that was her and that was her job she was selfless and just loved what she did. And the Heff same same girls she was a life send she visited and she supported and she helped me so much with a babe who wouldn’t feed off of one boob, you see these people aren’t just birth people they are everything you could ever need all wrapped into the most beautiful body they ooze love and encouragement and let me tell you know that is the definition of a midwife so if you experience or experienced anything different I am sorry I’m sorry you didn’t have the support you needed, I’m sorry you didn’t feel encouraged, I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy your birthing experience and I’m sorry if you for one second dint feel safe because that is not ok and that is not how anyone should feel in such a vulnerable state, as a birthing goddess you need to feel like your surrounded by a bubble of bloody love and nothing less. Please don’t give up please don’t write of all midwives and please don’t lump them all together, I had one terrible midwife she was a hospital one and she made me feel terrible I am so glad I only came into contact with her once because nothing can ruin my midwife love.
Take the time today and think about your midwife support them when it must feel like the worlds out to get them sometimes, remind them why they do their job and why we love them. Flick them a text and support them for once because we need to look after these beautiful people just as much as they look after us because without them we would not have the birthing experiences we are lucky enough to have today.
We love you midwives we fucking love you so much, thank you for everything.