20 months ago I pushed out a baby it was ok well it was shit but it was still amazing and I got this lovely little Benjamin button to cuddle straight after. I also got to breastfeed him straight after that was also ok, I mean I didn't know what I was doing he didn't know what he was doing but apparently we were totally fine and that was that. Oh my god that was so not that! Yes Rocky latched instantly and fed fine but bloody Nora was breast feeding an experience and a half! I'm just putting out there probably 1000000 woman I met in the nine months leading up to evicting the child ok ok basically every woman I met in those nine months informed me how horrendous labour would be and how terrifying it is to give birth, they talked about cutting and pulling and pushing and twisting and screaming and crying and it pretty much sounded like I was going to be the main character in a cheap horror movie. Turns out it was none of the above and I totally nailed giving birth without any of the fear they tried to instill in me. But my question is why did they not warn me about the horror breastfeeding would be?
I am super pro breast is best but I am also fully aware that some woman simply cannot breastfeed and you know what as long as that babe is happy and healthy and your doing your best that is fine, I count myself so lucky to have been able to feed my baby and I know it really eats up mothers inside seeing all these ridiculous pro breast campaigns that are nothing but a shaming method mothers could do with out, I have no doubt in my mind woman who can not breastfeed are the ones who want to feed their babies breast milk the most.
Any way back to un wanted labour advice and lacking breastfeeding advice, is it like taboo or something is that why we don't talk about it or are we all to scared that society will think we are bad mothers? I can very clearly remember being told it was such a natural thing at our antenatal classes and I seriously never thought it could be a problem once baby was here and I was required to produce milk and pop that sucker on the tit for a feed because dahhhhh it's such s beautiful natural thing remember guys. In my mind it is natural I guess as our body produces this amazing liquid to nourish and nurture our off spring but shit no GF is the whole concept of latching and feeding a new born a "natural" thing, I mean come on had you ever breast fed before having children? I didn't know what the hell I was doing and Rocky yes he was a good feeder who could smell out my boob and get to it before he even had his eyes fully open but he had never had a nipple in his mouth giving him his food source so neither of us knew if he was latching ok and we were on cloud new born so I didn't know if it was hurting like hell until much much later when the damage was already done.
Right so here we are funny looking newborn frazzled looking new mum and a hospital room all to ourselves, I think I thought I was fine for so long because I was so un prepared that this could be a difficult process. Things were all fine and dandy until sometime during that first night I called for a nurse because I couldn't get him to latch on one side at all plus it was really really really starting to hurt a lot! So this nurse I call her in she's a big oldish lady and she literally grabs the new born in one hand, my boob in the other smooshes them together turns on her heel and leaves, oh thanks that was super helpful you shut my kid up great and he's eating awesome but I still don't know what the heck I'm doing!!! I wish I complained about her because it was pretty lame.
At our hospital you have to go to a wee lactation class before you can leave the hospital so I went but I didn't ask any questions or let on that I was having trouble because remember guys it's easy as NOT. Home time and I'm still struggling but only on the one side it was like the boob from hell nothing could save this poor cracked swollen bosom, I soldiered on quietly for 2 more days until my mum arrived and I explained I was only feeding off the one boob because it hurt too much on the other evil one. Oh my am I glad she arrived when she did because I was heading into new territory and it was called mastitisville now no one not ever wants to end up there not even on a layover. So I was in the shower before I knew it masssaging milk into a flannel under the hot water, thank god for mums and thank god for mums who make everything better with a game plan. I spent the next few days expressing that boob with my pump to give it a wee break to heal and Rocky was bottle fed so I didn't waste a drop because any pumping mama knows the pain of wasting expressed milk haha. Oh and I sunbathed topless like every day for a few weeks because apparently that's good for he old nip nips.
I was incredibly lucky to have the best support during my breast feeding journey Mum who had been there done that with four of us kids and was able to reassure me it gets better (it does I promise) and Jared who sat with me for three weeks as I cried with every feed telling me I was amazing and could do it, he also helped check Rockys latch so I knew I wasn't doing any more damage they were 100% team Bekah and I could not have done it with out them.
Now baby mamas I can tell you right now it does get better and I continued to breast feed Rocky for 10.5 months and it was bloody amazing it's such a beautiful journey a hard one with ups and downs but from about three weeks in I had zero problems and would never give it up for anything. I can look back now and see why woman may stop so quickly because it's hard it seriously is hard! That's why I'm sharing this because someone needs to prepare you if I was prepared it was going to suck I would have spoken up sooner but noooo I thought I knew it all. So don't give up ladies keep it up seek help and support because we are amazing and our bodies are amazing and our tittays are even more amazing!!
P.s make the most of those luscious full baby feeding boobs because when you stop it all goes down hill, HELLO THAILAND.
Tits out for the babes ya'll xxx
We all need to remember FED IS BEST and support one and another 100% thanks for reminding me of that baby mama's xx
This was written by me when I was pregnant with Ruby on the 30th August 2015 xx