I've stayed away from posting stuff about cyber bullying and online trolls so far mainly because I haven’t dealt with anything like it in the year or so that I have been online but I feel like it's time to say my piece. Last night someone didn’t agree with my parenting style and she called me out on it, live on Facebook in front of 200 people.
I hate trolls just as much as the next person and I honestly feel so bloody lucky to have not had to deal with any negativity since starting the old blog but I have seen it happen time and time again and every time I'm all yo why? like why do people feel the need to be a dick? I choose to put my life out there on the internet for the world to enjoy or I guess judge and that's ok like I seriously don’t expect the whole internet to love me, that would be fucking fab but it's not realistic haha. With the good I have found in social media (there's a lot of good) comes the bad and honestly that’s totally expected, you know what that’s life but I guess it's easier to be mean from behind a computer screen than it is in real life to someones face. Anyone on the internet with some sort of presence would be dreaming if they thought they could be opinionated and outspoken without someone not feeling your vibe but what gets me is the fact they can’t just go ohh I don’t agree with that, obvs not for me so I'm going to move on and find something that is my cup of tea.
I see blogs and posts and pages all the time that I dabble in and then I realize it's not my kind of scene and I stop following or reading or whatever, then I find another and I'm like yo girl you my spirit animal. The same happens in real life you meet people you get a feel for them and the friendship or relationship will either blossom into something amazing or just fizzle out because you weren’t compatible which is fine because that is LIFE. The internet is no different do I get offended when someone unfollows my page NO because I unfollow shit all the time, do I get upset when I don’t get many likes on a picture NO because I don’t like everything in my feed it's the internet people it's really quite concerning how serious people take social media and the effort people must go to just to portray the life they see as ideal. Now in saying that I am not digging at anyone who does follow a certain theme on their page or someone who only has beautiful things in their little squares because that is their choice and that is their style, fuck I would be flat laying the shit out of things if it was my jam and if I was good at it and if when I did try and up my flat lay game the flat lay gods didn’t come and ruin my life by smashing my phone into one million pieces (true story bro) I follow such a mixture or accounts and love seeing gorgeous styled photos because gumon I don’t have a whole lot of style happening in my life right now you get my real life un styled with my rad kids thrown in for shits and gigs.
I actually don’t have time to do styled I barely have time to wear clean clothes, I work 8-5 five days a week. In my lunch break I reply to emails, try and take product photos, finish blogs so I have content for that night, have skype or phone meetings in my car, eat my lunch or run errands. When I get home I have two children to be bathed and fed and played with until bedtime and after bedtime I am on the computer again replying to more emails, writing as many blog posts as I can because the next day might be a total shit show and I get none of the above done so at least I should have a wee stash of content to post. Most days I am up at 6am and don’t go to bed until 11.00pm I know that's not a terrible lack of sleep and I'm super lucky Ruby sleeps through but when you’re doing it solo (yes I have a lot of help from my parents) it gets a bit tiring and the feeling of being under enormous pressure can be rather overwhelming so to then have someone jump on their fucking high horse and tell you that your behavior as a parent is disgusting it can almost break you and I say almost because I'm a hard BITCH bitch being the favorite word of this post.
My blog is not for the Grace's of motherhood it's for the Rebecca's, and that is how it is so if you’re a Grace please take your opinions elsewhere and find a blog that suits your parenting style. Because I am me and I'm pretty ok with that and I respect your opinion I understand how me calling Ruby a little bitch might offend some people had I called her a bitch in a tone or manner that was offensive BUT when I say something like "Ruby you little bitch this isn’t about you it's about me and your interrupting my live feed" with a smile on my face and a skip in my step I am quite obviously joking, do we not have better things to worry about than my tongue in cheek comments?. NZ has a child abuse epidemic our statistics are sky rocketing and that is something that is disgusting me referring to my children whom I love more than anything in this world and would protect with my life as obscetities is the last of our worries (side not I would never ever speak to my child in a degrading way or direct a swear word at them to their face in a snetace like it was the norm). So I do apologize if the grace's felt like I had gone to far but yolo I know you all think it about your children at one time or another and if you had spent a bit of time reading my stuff or following my journey you would see that yes I do indeed refer to my children as assholes on occasion (ok all the time, like once a day) but I am a fucking amazing parent so thanks for your concern and thanks for your comments on my parenting but I think I'm doing ok.
I hope everyone has a village like we do through Rocky and Ruby and I hope everyone that is a part of this village appreciates what I do and how I say what I want when I want, the majority of feedback I get is from mums saying you know why people love you B, it's because you are saying what we all think but can't say may it be because they don’t have anyone to talk to or they don’t have the platform I do or they just can't say it out loud well I can and I do and it's for all you baby mama's. (upon editing that sounded super wanky but I'm going to leave it lol)
Grace you rattled me good, it was live I didn’t have time to mull over my response or to sulk and then ignore the comment. You confronted me in a live setting and you bloody got me good but I addressed you because I deserved to have the respect of being heard and you also deserved the respect of having your concerns acknowledged, I also don’t condone someone being attacked over their opinion which we are all entitled to so I wanted to nip that in the bud, my page was not going to turn into a girl gang sitcho where I sent my mob of mum's after you because that is not my style and two wrongs do not make a right ever.
So here we are me ranting and yarning and life goes on, let's see how the next year unfolds I no doubt will go through it all again at some stage or another but until then why don’t we think..
- Is it True
- Is it Helpful
- Is it Inspriring
- Is it Necessary
- Is it Kind
Also a lol to end this on, yesterday I went to a fab CHCH IG mum’s meetup there wasn’t many of us there but I'm all about quality over quantity and it got me thinking imagine if your IG life was a total sham like you portrayed yourself in a way that was un true to yourself but you felt the need to be a certain way in order to be internet 'cool'. I at that moment was like yuss I can actually wear clothes covered in snot and food reminents, I 100% do not have to do my hair and if my tits are leaking through my clothes it's almost expected. Obviously I didn’t have to get my shit together to meet people who only know me through IG because on IG I do not have my shit together, I used my last pack of wipes to clean the food off my jeans from the day before (I have housework issues), I forgot to take nappies so if the old poonami happened I was literally in the shit, I had grand plans of packing Rocky a really nutritionally balanced lunch but instead I ran out of time and he insisted on taking his mar (muesli bar, full of sugar def not the healthy organic kind) in his cars bowl so I literally threw it in the car and then chucked it under the pram just to whip it out as the other children started snacking on grapes and crackers and what not (I did buy a kids packed lunch thing when we were there which had a ham bun in it which Rocky kept insisting we call it a pie, he never eats pies I swear), then I didn’t have a blanket to sit Ruby on she just sat on a vest thing and smooshed her apple crisp (which I stole from Rocky's brought lunch box thing) into the concrete path she was sitting on which resulted in her eating a lot of gravel bits and whatever else is on the bottom of peoples shoes, I didn’t keep track of Rocky at all and am glad the amazing mum's who were there with is kept tabs on him, oh but I did remember Ruby's lunch she got two pottles of yogurt which I spilt everywhere because talking about Gloriavale was more important than feeding her.
I don’t force people to follow me I realize it's not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s why I expect common courtesy on my pages, you choose to actively seek me out and like my shit which is why I do not feel the need to sugar coat anything or try and please everyone. I am allowed to say what I want because if you really don’t like it you do not have to look, I don’t shove my opinions and thoughts down people’s throats and that’s why I am ok with calling my children dicks because sometimes they are and you know what I'm sure yours are too because kids can be assholes.
Peace yo B xx