We travel a bit within NZ we try and get around as much as possible, well as much as the wallet will allow so I thought it was about time I put our fave products and tips and tricks into a blog! I am always asked about my recommendations when traveling with kids sah I was like write it down B.

I planned on writing this last week before we went to Auckland but life happened and well I’m only writing it now and I’m writing it in between binging on the Netflix series Riverdale side note OMG AJ Kapa holy shit balls that kid is hot ha. Right back to travel, I have snapchatted about it before and Ig storied it and yarned a lot about it so now it’s written down and you can come back time and time again for reference, I feel like this will be the world’s worst blog post I’m so distracted by Riverdale like now I’m fixated on how hot bloody Betty is! Ok she just walked in, in a fucking bra and a black wig and she’s so fucking hot hahaha

I would love to say we are well travelled but we aren’t however it is such a goal of mine I want to travel so much with these kids, Jared on the other hand he hates it ha he would rather never travel with them ever again seriously he HATES it lol. It’s really only because he is such a stress pot and does not cope under pressure why he’s a cop I’ll never know! (nah he’s a great one seriously team) any way I would have loved to see him trying to cope on the flight we took to Fiji last year when Ruby had a double ear infection and literally screamed the whole fucking time, shit that was a great flight I’ll tell you that right now. He did cope though that time we went to Sydney last year and she had conjunctivitis and also screamed most of the time lol that was so much fun.

Right so I would say I’ve had a pretty easy run in my three years of travelling with babe’s shit just last week Andy Bloody Ellis helped a sister out and became a step in dad to both kids on the plane and then he even carried the little cute child of the aeroplane and then awkwardly stood yarning with me at the baggage collection place before he politely interrupted me mid yarn to tell me he really has to go because he doesn’t actually have a bag to collect so he thrust my child he was still holding in his arms at me and rode of in his shining armour, ok so it was a bit more casual than that buttttt yano lol. Ow and then there was the flight home when Megan bloody Alatini was my flight crew manager she tried to get married and change her name but I knew it was her and I was totally Truebliss fan girling OMG haha. SO like I have said we do pretty well on flights because I have prepped and prepping is so important Jared always has this army mentality where you go failing to prepare is preparing to fail it’s lame I know but it kind of works in situations like this, so I prepare, I possibly over prepare and it never fails me well it sometimes fails me because my kids are assholes but that’s not on me because I prepared yo.

So here are my tips for traveling solo with a child.

DRUGS – I’m not over here telling you to throw some bloody phenergan in a bottle I’m just saying a little rescue remedy never hurt anyone, did you know your kid cannot even over dose in that?! I know right haha also a new one we have been trying and loving is the Kiwiherb kids calm this stuff is a life saver we use it on every single flight booyah.

SNACKS - Snacks are key like the importance of being over prepared in the snack department cannot be stressed enough. When he was little it was wine biscuits and apples he was obsessed with apples so I basically took a tree of apples into the plane with us. Then we moved on to cheese I would cube like a whole bloody block and that would come with us in the nappy bag. Now it's mandarins I have just spent the night peeling and separating like 10 mandarins and I'm not kidding I pretty much filled a large snap lock bag and I'm almost certain he will eat them all. Now the last but totally most important snack is a treat item I took m&ms on a flight when Rocky was about 11 months old and my god they were a life saver and I'm totally ok with my 11-month old eating chocolate because he shut the hell up and if you are the person that hates kids screaming on a plane or you’re the mum trying to keep their kid from screaming on the plane then you will not be judging me right now.

Our latest flight on the weekend I took enough snacks to feed an army seriously I took so much food but in my defense we were flying into the eye of a cyclone that never actually eventuated to anything, I was so worried that we would be delayed or stuck somewhere and that if I had all the snacks it would be ok. We packed

·      Mandarins (pre peeled)

·      Malt biscuits, they love these bloody biscuits.

·      M&Ms literally a whole massive family bag.

·      Raisins

·      Buns, just plain old buns.

·      Small bags of twisties, again love these and we don’t buy them so a special shut the hell up treat.

·      Mini cookie time biscuits, I know Air NZ give these out but they are a good option because they take ages for them to get through. Someone else suggested ginger nuts for the same purpose.

TOYS- Toys are still important but with limited space and possibly a weird smelly creepy man sitting next to you remember the above snacks are key. Our faves are cars, books, more cars and fire engine toys. I would steer clear of anything that makes annoying noises or things like balls that may be dropped and roll under a thousand seats in front of you trust me when I say we have done this yo, it gets real old real fucking quick. I’ve learnt a lot over my time travelling solo and I now only take a few small books with flaps or animals they always get Ruby going and a few matchbox cars for Rocky.

Mama B’s top tips.

1- No one likes a screaming kid on a plane but if your kid is screaming just cry! Yep turn the tables it's totally acceptable and people will be really nice, seriosuly they will give you a wee sympathetic look and not say another mean mutter about that child.  Also I now know that you need to give zero fucks like actually people can get fucked kids cry and babies cry and you’re on a flight for a small amount of time and they can get the hell over it because ya know what they have a brother or a sister or a friend with a kid or a child or a niece or a nephew they might not like kids but they know a kid and they can deal with it ok. Do not feel bad obviously you are going to try and shut your kid up but sometimes there are other things coming into play and your babe is not going to stop crying it happens do not become overwhelmed but if you do remember cry it will make everything better.

2- Use the tray, set it up as a little picnic and let them be so excited about it. One thing that is really annoying for the people in front of them is when you let your kid drop the tray and then fold it up and then drop it down, it seems like a great idea at the time on the keeping your kid entertained scale but it’s not don’t let them do this. Unless there is no one in the seat in front, if this is the case let them do whatever the fuck they want.

3- Babies will always shit on the plane especially small ones they just know that you’re on a tiny plane flying from Palmerston North to Christchurch and the plane is literally so tiny that when they poo explosion everywhere the whole plane can smell it and you’ll probably have a young hot guy crammed in the seat next to you just being completely dutch ovened by your teeny tiny baby, but he’s so sweet that he just smiled and made a cute poo joke. Seriously this was the worst Rocky pooped right through his clothes and I couldn’t do anything so I kind of just awkwardly wrapped a swaddle around and around and around his ass as many times as I could and it was so awkward because when I got up to leave there wasn’t just poo on the baby there was poop on me and the seat and the tray in front of me! No kidding it wasn’t that bad but it was pretty close to being that bad seriously it was the two of us covered in mustardy poop. ALWAYS remember to allow enough time to change that bebe right on flight boarding time ALWAYS.

4- A carrier is a must I could not fly solo without our trusty Mountain Buggy Juno having your hands free makes for way less stress, and now that I have two kids we will not travel without a few other handy Mountain Buggy products like the Bag Rider which is so fucking amazing or our Mountain Buggy Nano which fits in your overhead compartment!! I know right.

5- My top tip is to get the seat next to you blocked so head to the counter early and ask if the seat next to you and your infant has been allocated if they say no you can get that seat blocked so they fill all other seats first and yours last I've only had someone next to me twice and we have flown a lot, life is sooooo much easier when you don't have someone next to you that your babe can smoosh soggy biscuits into.

6- Ohhhhh and lucky last I just remembered is if you are say only taking a car seat or just a pram on your trip Baby gets 2 items of luggage so use the other item to get an extra bag on the plane 😉.

Basically you just do you boo and as long as your trying to shut your babe up it does not matter what anyone else things its only for a sort while and you will get through OK.

It does not matter what anyone else thinks, you are a queen and you are doing your best so stay calm and get it done.

Good luck baby mama’s

B xx