I feel like they hate me but I know that they love me more.

Ok so that probably sounds terrible but seriously we have had the worst morning ever like I just got back and the kids are being mega dicks, it’s ok like I said up there I have my theory around it but it’s killing me. You know as a mum how you give all you time, money and soul to your children and then they just kind of screw you over? Yep well that’s me today like I get it I went away and they’re a bit pissy about tit but do you need to pick up a mini chair and throw it because I asked if you wanted peanut butter on toast and then realized that dad hadn’t brought any new peanut butter so we were peanut butterless and you had to have marmite, I do get that I mean pics peanut butter is bloody good but marmite is a kiwi classic mate.

Pretty much we had two mega time outs before 8am and I had looked into mini people anger management classes seriously, no not seriously but I text Jared asking why I had come home to a three-year-old with anger management problems and he replied with that classic line you get from the other parent or grandparent where they go “oh well they were fine for me” or my personal fave “they were great until you got here”. I normally reply with a blunt go fuck yourself and a punch to the cunt or something but this was via text exchange so I went with the you’re never getting your dick wet ever again for as long as you shall live line, another classic I know right (I know it’s not classic and I know you probably thing I should wash my mouth out with soap but you know me #yolo) but yeah I’m pretty sure we have all been there and cried about it because I know I have like I’ve cried so many times because someone has said oh they were great until you arrived so seriously note to self don’t ever fucking say anything along those lines to a Mother it is the worst feeling.

So by 8am we had two serious time outs and then by 8.30am the three of us were tucked up in bed sound asleep, it was good for the soul until we woke up and Rocky turned into a little hormonal terror all over again (side note I’m pretty sure a three-year-old boy can’t be hormonal but he was cray) lucky Ruby was cute as shit. They were terrors the two of them more so Rocky but I’m not letting him take the rap for all the day back craziness, it was hard A- because I knew they had been perfect for Jared and B – I had been away for god’s sake why didn’t they just want to love me. But that’s the thing you see I’ve cracked it I have figured out why they do this to us Mums/stay at home parents you see they just love us more! I know right how did I not figure this out sooner?! After so much heart break and tears how have I only just figured this out? Well I have now and my theory is that the kids just love me more, they cry for me because I’m so much more important and they wake up earlier because they want that extra time with me and they have a tantrum because mums just aren’t allowed to say no apparently and they want you to play with them 24/7 because I just make way better car noises than anyone else. I just feel like this is the only explanation so I’m bloody going with it because if I think about anything else I might cry again ha shit have I cried over this issue many times in the last three years, this is hard and it’s not going to get any easier with the way our lifestyle is I travel a lot normally with the kids but this was without them and shit did they get me back good today, I mean traveling without them was great like really really great I watched two movies and slept for half an hour on the plan but for this punishment I would rather fly to Africa and back with them than deal with the mega meltdowns from today.

The only saving grace was old mate Andy Ellis who once again pulled through when I stalked him to McDonalds with his kid, no I’m totally kidding but I did run into him and his kid at diddymacs where Rocky and his wee homie played rugby at the playground and the world of parenting was righted again.. until we got home.

We leave again on Wednesday to Auckland for a cool photoshoot with my little gang and then they fly home with IG Nana while Jared and I stay in Auckland for a mates wedding so come two weeks we will be doing this all over again but that’s life yo.

B xx